And if that's hard for you, literally just watch Hayao Miyazaki's Castle in the Sky. Dola is literally just an elderly version of the pigtailed, adventurous Pippi as a pirate matriarch!
"Thank you for calling Multiversal Support, my name is Astrid Doladotter..."
Again, with a name that's either clever or just plain lazy!
"How can I be of assistance today, dear?"
"... Well, my friends said you're pretty helpful." A Elderly Voice crones over the phone.
"Thank you, we take pride in our ability to help individuals who find themselves stuck in a completely different reality than what they're familiar with. I take it that's your situation?"
"Pretty much. I went to bed 19 and woke up the next morning 87 years old!"
"You'll be surprised how often that happens!"
"I'm also leader of a team called The Old Avengers."
"Oh, really? That's great information!"
"Oh yes, that kind of detail is very helpful for me! Really makes the job easier! Can you tell me anything else?"
"Sure. My hero name is..." The woman sighs. "Abuela America."
"Sounds cute, dear!"
"It makes me sound like some fat, old grandma!"
"... Are you?"
"Uh... well... that's-that's not the point! That I'm willingly calling myself that in this reality is just loco!"
"There are worse names out there. Like Love Sausage."
"... What's his deal?"
"You don't want to know, trust me!" Astrid cackles. "Okay, so your name is Abuela America and you're team leader of The Old Avengers? Anything else I should know?"
America lists her team roster with detail:
Iron Nan (Riri Williams, 86) -Skilled inventor and Engineer -Super Genius-level Intellect
Great Ant (Cassandra Lang, 83) -Size manipulation
Spider Grandma (Gwen Stacy, 84) -Superhuman strength, speed, durability, and agility -Ability to cling to most surfaces -Use of interdimensional travel -Accelerated healing -Precognitive Spider-Sense -Using web-shooters to shoot strong spider-web strings from wrists
White Tiger (Ava Ayala, 79) -Superhuman martial arts skills -Superhuman physical attributes via mystical amulets
Golden Girl Archer (Katherine Bishop, 81) -Highly skilled archer -fencer -swordswoman -martial artist -boxer -and other forms of combat -Use of two battle staves, a sword, a bow, and trick arrows -a skilled knitter
"We're experienced, competent, and surprisingly tough compared to how we look. I like to think of us as The Experienced Avengers AND, PLEASE, HELP ME, I TAKE SO MANY PILLS AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE THE INTERNET THE WAY I USE TO ANYMORE!"
"Ill see what I can do, dear. For what it's worth, you've really sped up the time it'll take for me to figure things out."
"Mhmm. I'll call you as soon as I can!"
America sounds relieved.
"The girls and I are taking a well needed vacation in Atlantic City this weekend."
"I felt like I just went ten rounds with Godzilla... in fact, I did!" America chuckles. "Its nice knowing I haven't completely slowed down with time and that I still pack one heck of a punch!"
Astrid laughs. She sounds like such an eccentric, old biddy!
"That's nice, ma'am. I'll call you as soon as I find out what happened."
Astrid hangs up, America sighs.
"Ma'am? Great! I'm a ma'am!" America laughs. "At least this weekend won't be too stressful!"
-The weekend plans were canceled. The Old Avengers are mentoring The Teen Avengers. -The Old Avengers in Atlantic City
👩🏻🦱The Avengers signed a peace treaty with The Technologically Advanced Sea Turtle People known as The Kappa...
"Gosh darn it, we just took down a Magical Godzilla and not a single news channel is talking about us?!" Katherine Bishop, a white haired spinster crones about it as she sits in a jet headed for Atlantic City with her teammates.
The Old Avengers.
"Kids today! You think they could've stopped Godzilla?! No Sir! And that's why our saggy old behinds were dragged into the fight! I'll tell ya! If we actually retired, those Avengers would be crapping in their diapers!"
The Irony being that Katherine wears depends!
"I'm sure they'd be fine." Gwen Stacy, 84 years old, a mature blonde dressed modestly in a white top speaks with optimism in her aged voice.
"Katherine does have a point." Cassandra Lang, 83 years old, once known far and wide as Ant Woman, now, Great Ant. "It's not like we're some old biddies in a knitting circle...."
"Cassandra, we knit together regularly!" Ava Ayala, 79 years old, The White Tiger, laughs with a cup of prune juice in hand. "Face it we're old and it's just hard for people to think we can still save the day like we use to.'
"Like we use to? We're saving the day on a regular basis, Ava!" Katherine shakes her head. "And besides, Molly's only 67!"
The small old grandma in a floral dress knits away with a shaking head.
"I feel 97 after fighting Godzilla!"
"And one of those Baby Avengers would've felt 150!" Katherine assures. "We may be old, but we're a bunch of badass grannies!"
The women laugh, their team leader, America, round and plump, frizzy hair white as snow, sits in a corner, uncomfortable at the fact all of her friends are acting like a bunch of old foggies!
"I'll tell ya, we deserve this trip, girls!" Katherine scowls. "I can't wait to play the slots!"
"Hit the buffets!" Gwen adds.
"Watch a few shows!" Molly claps.
"... Sleep." America chimes in.
The girls laugh in unison.
"That's what we're talking about, America!" Katherine smiles, showing off her dentures. "What a great gal's trip this will be!"
The jet lands on top of a hotel. The Eastern Island Head Resort and Casino.
The girls shuffle off the plane slowly, many feeling stiff in their knees and lower backs, each handed a key by the staff in waiting.
America couldn't deny the treatment was spectacular. It's like they're VIPs!
"Let's hope the heat is on in our rooms!" Katherine complains loudly. "It's like Antarctica outside!"
-America shares a room with Cranky old Katherine. - America shares a room with Sweet Old Cassandra. - America shares a room with Slim and Slender Ava.
Cassandra Lang, tall and lanky, dressed modestly in a black blouse with a red skit, hair curled white, nose hooked, chin pointed, with a pair of chained glasses shuffles into the room with a cane in hand.
Cassandra was a sweet old woman who could grow big or small at will.
"Oh, bother!" Cassandra moans as she shrinks to 12 inches, her clothes dropped to the floor.
America sizes, picking up the naked, tiny old woman with saggy breasts and a big, white bush.
"Sorry." Cassandra frowns, hiding her breasts with age spotted hands.
"It's fine." America smiles, setting Cassandra down on the bed.
She shuffles back to the door, grunting with a light sound of pain as she picks up Cassandra's suitcase, shuffling through the bag for clothes fit for a Barbie Doll.
"You better avoid getting too big, Cassandra, I put the deposit on this room!"
"Oh, don't worry, these days, I'm shrinking more than growing!"
"... Aren't we all?" America sighs, handing Cassandra a red sundress.
"Thank you, sweetie." Cassandra smiles. "Can you look for the sun hat it comes with? I have to accessorize!"
America laughs. Cassandra is such a doll!
-America plays the slots with Katherine -America hits the buffet with Ava -America goes shopping with Molly -America hits a show with Gwen
"She shrunk herself, again?!" Ava, wearing a purple Eastern Island Head Resort and Casino T-Shirt she had just purchased at the gift shop, laughs as she shuffles towards the Mexican Section of the buffet.
Ava was craving a soft chicken taco!
America hated looking at Ava with such jealous eyes. Ava is just so thin and youthful by comparison! It amazes America how envious she was over a 79 year old's body!
But, with a rumbling belly, America became more focused on her appetite.
At the table, Ava's plate was two soft tacos, a scoop of Spanish Rice, a scoop of beans, and a piece of cornbread.
... America's plate was two beef ribs, four egg rolls, a big scoop of mashed potatoes, a big scoop of macaroni, two crab legs, and a big, buttery biscuit.
Ava looks at America's plate with widened eyes.
"Did you bring your tums?"
"... Yes." America grumbles. Taking a big bite of her bbq coated treat.
"It amazes me how old we are... and yet, how good our track record is compared to the actual avengers!"
"Kids today, they just don't have the experience." America reasons. "Katherine has arthritis in her hands and shoots twice as more accurate than her grandkid!"
Ava nods. America feels strange. This conversation felt so natural. It's like she was a old biddy in her 80s!
"I'm just worried about when we... well... retire. What are they gonna do without us?"
"Get better at saving the day?" America laughs.
"That'll be the day! I can run circles around Captain America even with my artificial hip and bad knee!"
The two continued critiquing young heroes. America finishing not one, but three plates, moaning her hands on her bloated belly.
"I should've stopped at one plate!"
"Hey, we're at a buffet and on vacation. It's okay to over indulge just a little."
America frowns. She felt so fat and old!
-America sees a show with Gwen -America hits the slots with Katherine -America hits the pool with Molly
America sits in front of a Hot Stuff Slot Machine, to her left, Katherine passionately plays Little Shop of Horrors.
The colors and the interactive nature of the games entice both elderly women. America, playing it safe at 50 cents a spin, thinking Hot Stuff's animation was simply adorable. Katherine, going big at 3.50, not a big fan of show tunes, BUT, had heard the payouts on this particular machine were incredible!
"You're playing like a sucker!" Katherine shakes her head. "That's a progressive slot for crying out loud!"
"So?" America raises a puzzled brow.
"So?!" Katherine, with an age spotted, shaky hand, points at the pot of gold with a light fire burning below. "You see that pot?"
"When it overflows, you could win big money if you play big!"
"I'm not spending 8 dollars a spin, Katherine!"
"I'm not saying go that big! But at least 2.50, America! You won't get crap for under a dollar!"
"I'd rather just play the way I'm playing. Besides, aren't you already down like two hundred dollars?"
Within seconds, Katherine gets a bonus game. 8 free spins and on her first spin, she was up 500 dollars. All Rick Moranis!
As Suddenly Played with a number in the center of the screen hitting tops to 500, Katherine smirks.
America rolls her eyes. That Katherine and her luck!
"You know, I might just get a place in Atlantic City after I retire." Katherine blurts out.
"Bingo, Keno, craps. I love gambling!" Katherine laughs. "Far less stressful on the arthritis."
"Hey, want to check out that Game of Thrones machine? It's a little loud for my taste. But I heard the progressive win is amazing!"
America shrugs her spongey shoulders.
"I might just go to bed after this."
"Your loss." Katherine cackles. Her total win? 3500 dollars. As Katherine waits for the attendants to give her the paperwork to sign, America waddles off to her hotel room.
It's weird, all her teammates kept talking about retirement.
-America and Gwen see a show -America and Riri hit the pool -America and Molly have breakfast
Two young women in bikinis pass a sitting America and Riri. Both dressed in pone piece with a skirt. America, self conscious about her big potbelly wrapped in spandex, yet, at the same time, extremely use to the feeling on her wrinkled skin. Riri, more slender, with drooping skin and much more veiny legs compared to America.
It was that and her yellowed toes that made America feel less embarrassed about her own appearance. Solidarity and comparison.
"This is such a nice pool." Riri says, slurping on a strawberry mojito.
America, with a pineapple vodka in hand, agrees, the smell of chlorine wafting in the air, the sounds od youthful shrieking from the pool, and the smells of greased food from the snack shack was, admittedly. A nice feeling compared to fighting Godzilla at their age!
"Remember when we use to wear bikinis?" Riri laughs,
"Ugh, I couldn't be caught dead in one of those!"
"Really? Cause for my my funeral, I wouldn't mind being buried in something sexy and red!"
"Maybe a red top with yellow bottoms. Something really Iron Man to scare the grandkids!" Riri snickers.
"You're too much!"
"Oh I'm just having a laugh." Riri sighs. "That last mission really did a number on the joints. Thank goodness I brought my good pillow with me."
"I forgot mine."
"Gwen's heading to the mall later, you might find a good replacement." Riri winks. "Maybe been a nice mall walker to bring back to the hotel!"
America laughs. Riri is outrageous!
-America and Gwen go mall shopping -America and Molly see a show -The next morning, America gets a call from Multiversal Support
JackpotMans: Bracket has been updated!
Feb 2, 2021 0:55:05 GMT -6
MeanMark: Would anyone be interested in contributing to a "FaceApp Creations" thread? Basically a place to share your face-agings of either celebs or people you know.
Feb 3, 2021 12:49:27 GMT -6
JackpotMans: If you are a part of round 2 of the AP Tournament, please check your messages! I would prefer to talk over discord if you use it, but I don't mind conversing here.
Feb 4, 2021 11:53:39 GMT -6
unknown: Is there some Italian?
Feb 11, 2021 14:55:40 GMT -6
unknown: discord.gg/3EvqCxvfsn I created this server in Italian about all kind of transformation in Italian language. But there isn't anyone in old age progression.
Feb 11, 2021 15:01:41 GMT -6
JackpotMans: AP Tournament has been updated! Check out the updates!
Feb 19, 2021 18:01:22 GMT -6
MeanMark: Just started an intractables thread -- join the FaceApp fun!
Feb 23, 2021 10:38:17 GMT -6
JackpotMans: Voting for round 2 will close tomorrow!
Feb 23, 2021 11:37:55 GMT -6
MeanMark: Two-fer Tuesday in the FaceApp thread!
Mar 9, 2021 15:13:46 GMT -6
MeanMark: If you're a fan of age swapping, today's post is for you (kinda)
Mar 18, 2021 13:33:13 GMT -6
kappa: More like age transfer? I get what you mean though. ❤️ It!
Mar 18, 2021 14:31:45 GMT -6
MeanMark: Has anyone else been using the Tapatalk app to access the boards on their phone? This site is suddenly gone from that app.
Mar 19, 2021 7:32:01 GMT -6
MeanMark: The forums are back on the Tapatalk app — weird!
Mar 21, 2021 11:36:43 GMT -6
JackpotMans: The final match for the AP tournament is up! Voting goes live tomorrow!
Apr 1, 2021 20:55:19 GMT -6
kappa: As a TG Fan, I've come across a lot of Great Shift stories, comics, and captions. Feel like this would be a fun AP theme. Have seen AP TG Great Shift Captions though, which definitely supports my thoughts on this cause those are awesome.
Apr 19, 2021 10:05:11 GMT -6
kappa: Y'all might enjoy Jupiter's Legacy. It also might bum ya out how youthful a woman 100+ looks. 🤣
May 7, 2021 13:55:29 GMT -6
kappa: R.I.P Paul Mooney ❤️
May 19, 2021 21:41:16 GMT -6
kappa: Episode 2 of Modok had an interesting AP scene in the end ❤️
May 26, 2021 10:09:28 GMT -6
kappa: Just watched the trailer to the new Space Jam movie. Candi Milo plays granny and her bits are awesome. "I'm gonna go old school on his butt!" Followed by break dancing with a walker. Also, SHE DRINKS A MARTINI.
Jun 8, 2021 9:52:26 GMT -6
kappa: i feel like they genuinely made this film for an older audience 🤣
Jun 8, 2021 9:52:42 GMT -6