kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 2,872
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Post by kappa on Aug 23, 2019 19:32:40 GMT -6
Group Email:  ATTENTION ALL FEMALE STAFF!If you have yet to experience menopause , DO NOT, and I mean, DO NOT, open up an email titled " Big Summer Blowout" Yes, it was sent from the IT Department. But it's cursed. YOU WILL AGE!Trust me on that... This morning, I was twenty-six, now... well, I'm pretty sure I could pass for no less than fifty! The Institute of Mystery has been notified. However, they've told me they've yet to find a reversal to the hex. If this email DID NOT reach you in time, if you were aged ten to twenty years, experienced sudden weight gain, mood swings, and are experiencing as bad of hot flashes as I am, please, come to my office, we'll discuss a stipend for the inconvenience. Also, DO NOT, approach anyone from the IT Department. The Institute of Mystery confirmed the hex is a love spell. AGAIN
The Aging Hex is a love spell, so, stay away from anyone working in the IT Department until we determine who specifically sent the email. If you have any leads, notify Mister Tim, Richards, or Handa. Unfortunately, as I said earlier, I am also hexed and am susceptible to the sender's will. To end, if by chance you come across the sender, and have office relations, you WILL NOT be held accountable. Still, please, try and avoid that! |
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 2,872
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Post by kappa on Aug 23, 2019 21:59:22 GMT -6
Group Email #2: To all the parents of Saint Fiona's Academy for Witches with children on the swim team. We apologize for this unfortunate situation. After school hours, our gymnasium is often used by the Local Senior Center. Silver Raven Assisted Living Home. The pool is used for a Water Aerobics Class and... well, one of the women participating, a retired potions master, was sick. Her sweat had a strange effect to the water that chlorine helped make much, much worse! Again, we apologize and... As far as we are aware, the entire swim team is infected. The Captain, Veronica Pixie, is currently experiencing the worse of it. Veronica, who was a youthful, petite brunette, is now biologically 87 years old with all aches and pains that come with it!  From what doctors have examined, it'll just be a few weeks... but it's highly contagious. Veronica is currently staying at the Retirement Home and we ask that all members of the swim team join her. Eventually, they'll all fit in just fine. As to the swim meet, it will be canceled for the time being. However, the swim team itself will still be practicing as usual. Just at a slower pace! |
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Post by chronoeclipse on Aug 23, 2019 22:35:56 GMT -6
Love these! Hope to see more!
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 2,872
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Post by kappa on Aug 23, 2019 23:12:13 GMT -6
Love these! Hope to see more! Okay! 😄👍 *** Group Email #3: Good Morning, Madison Moon's Magical Institute Class of 2020! Are you excited for your work study?! 🤔 You should be! Sure, it has some drawbacks. But, it's a memorable and enriching experience! For all you Potions Majors, meet me at Building 6, this Monday, at 6 in the morning for your assignments! All Boys will be working antique shop, set up in major cities across the globe, disguised as frail, elderly men. All Girls will be living in small, little cottages in the country side, selling "natural" medicines, disguised as sweet, old grandmas.  I know, I know. An entire month stuck as senior citizens?! 1) You'll get use to it. (TRUST ME) 2) It's the best disguise for witches and wizards. 3) I'm sorry, kiddos, but you're witches and wizards. You're gonna end up old sooner or later. 85 is literally the year we hit our prime! 4) It's a grade. Sorry, deal with it! 🤣 Anyways, be sure to pack sensible and loose clothing, a cane (just in case), Oh, and DO NOT attempt any... uh... any hanky panky! Warning: If you have sex in your magically aged forms, you'll be stuck in that form for an entire year! Have fun, kiddos and remember, You're only as old as you feel! |
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 2,872
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Post by kappa on Aug 23, 2019 23:42:58 GMT -6
Personal Email: 8/26/2019 Hey Mommy! Thanks for the new Sports Bra! I luv it! <3 My first day at Magic Meds went well. I think. My boss is a Total B. But whatevs. They have me testing chocolates. It's so good! The only thing that's weird is they measured me before I left the building and they said they'll keep doing that every day. Weird, right?! Anyways, I'm gonna be real busy unpacking my stuff, but, I'll message you as soon as I have the free time! BYE! =P 10/3/2019 It's been a rough month. I'm sorry I haven't messaged you in a while. It's just that I'm having troubles using technology lately. I haven't been online since September and I have enough problems using the gosh darn remote for the tv! Remember those chocolates I talked about? I did mention them, didn't I? Sorry, it's hard keeping track of things lately! Well, long story short, I had to retire that sports bra you got me. Sorry, but it no longer gets the job done. Much like most of my bras!  |
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Post by chronoeclipse on Aug 24, 2019 10:30:57 GMT -6
Yeah these are great. I think I like the e-mails the best over the school memos. It feels more personal. Love in the last one how as she got older she gained an older womans relationship to technology. I picture her hunting and pecking out the letters on her keyboard slowly.
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 2,872
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Post by kappa on Aug 24, 2019 14:13:44 GMT -6
Yeah these are great. I think I like the e-mails the best over the school memos. It feels more personal. Love in the last one how as she got older she gained an older womans relationship to technology. I picture her hunting and pecking out the letters on her keyboard slowly. Great feedback. Thank you very much 😸👍♥️ *** Personal Email #2: Hey, Kevin. It's me, Taylor, from your Wizard History Class. I want to apologize for calling you a loser. My friends made it clear after class that I was in the wrong. A lot of kids like Anime. I shouldn't have judged you so harshly for having a My Hero Academia Backpack. Oh, and calling it Naruto. My friends explained to me it wasn't that show. So, if it's okay, could you possibly remove the curse?  I really don't like hot flashes, and I hate how brittle my hair is, and I hate how attracted middle aged men look like to me now, also, I pee myself a little every time I laugh and it's really embarrassing. You got your revenge, I see what I did wrong. Please, don't make me attend my Mom's Wedding looking older than her! |
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 2,872
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Post by kappa on Aug 24, 2019 17:55:51 GMT -6
Sex Demon PSA: "It was suppose to be a one time thing..." An Elderly Woman smiles on camera with a shaky, warbled voice.  "I was just curious, it wasn't going to be a habit or anything. But... well, when I summoned a Demon who looked just like Tom Holland... I... well, I'm only human!" If you or someone you know are using Sex Demon Summoning Circles, there's still time to quit. A Message Sponsored by the Board of Health. |
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Post by thetreerollins on Aug 25, 2019 0:27:23 GMT -6
Terrific! My kinda wman Group Email: ATTENTION ALL FEMALE STAFF!If you have yet to experience menopause , DO NOT, and I mean, DO NOT, open up an email titled " Big Summer Blowout" Yes, it was sent from the IT Department. But it's cursed. YOU WILL AGE!Trust me on that... This morning, I was twenty-six, now... well, I'm pretty sure I could pass for no less than fifty! The Institute of Mystery has been notified. However, they've told me they've yet to find a reversal to the hex. If this email DID NOT reach you in time, if you were aged ten to twenty years, experienced sudden weight gain, mood swings, and are experiencing as bad of hot flashes as I am, please, come to my office, we'll discuss a stipend for the inconvenience. Also, DO NOT, approach anyone from the IT Department. The Institute of Mystery confirmed the hex is a love spell. AGAIN
The Aging Hex is a love spell, so, stay away from anyone working in the IT Department until we determine who specifically sent the email. If you have any leads, notify Mister Tim, Richards, or Handa. Unfortunately, as I said earlier, I am also hexed and am susceptible to the sender's will. To end, if by chance you come across the sender, and have office relations, you WILL NOT be held accountable. Still, please, try and avoid that! |
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Post by agemagic on Aug 25, 2019 19:48:32 GMT -6
Dear fellow Middle-schoolers, I am sending this email out to all of you to warn you that the cootie-age virus is REAL! Just the other day I was a young and pretty 12 year old girl. I was playing with some other kids and we decided to play “Spin the bottle.” I had never kissed a boy before so this looked like a chance to try it and have some harmless fun. When the bottle landed on me I got to give a quick kiss on the lips to the hottest 13 year old boy named Michael. He was sooo dreamy!  That night when I went to bed I had all sorts of strange dreams and when I woke up the next morning I was exhausted. When I stumbled out of bed my whole body ached and my night shirt seemed really small and tight on me and a strange heavy weight was pulling me forward as I felt the swaying of two large breasts sagging on my shirt. Before I could react I saw my reflection in the mirror and I screamed, but the scream was much lower and hoarser than my own voice, very adult sounding. Staring back at me was a full-grown adult woman who looked really, really old!  My parents rushed in and saw me confused but then figured out what had happened. They rushed me to the hospital but it was too late. The doctor said I was now 62 year old senior citizen in surprisingly good health and there was nothing more they could do other than refer me to a counselor and a geriatric specialist. Now I am stuck at home living the life of a retired woman and my folks are passing me off as my mother’s grandmother. I missed my whole life and if I ever have any hope of finding love it will have to be with another elderly persona like myself. They have me on anti-depressants but they don’t work. So I am warning all of you young-uns out there to be careful. The virus is REAL! |
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 2,872
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Post by kappa on Aug 25, 2019 20:19:37 GMT -6
Antidepressant Commercial: Cootie Age Virus got you down? Having trouble adjusting to being a senior citizen? Disgusted with your new body? Can't handle the new aches and pain? Well, sounds like you need some Nylund Rose! The Antidepressant that will not only put a smile on your wrinkled face, but a new lease on life! "I take Nylund Rose three times a day, and let me tell ya, it's a lifesaver!" Karen James, formally seventeen, currently a resident at Pleasant Oak Assisted Living, pleasantly praise her favorite drug while getting in the Rec Room.  "Thanks to Nylund Rose, I like my new skin. Heck, I even like bingo! Thanks, Nylund Rose, being an old lady is pretty nifty!" Nylund Rose, pop in a withered smile! |
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 2,872
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Post by kappa on Aug 25, 2019 23:28:47 GMT -6
Antidepressant Commercial #2: Missing those wild, carefree days of your youth?  Has the Cutie Age Virus given you the case of the blues? Try Nylund Rose! You may not be young anymore. You may be older than your parents now. You may have poor eyesight and hearing, Arthritis, Achy joints, Palsy, Angina, Etcetera, Etcetera. But, that doesn't mean your new life can't be fun!  Nylund Rose, making ointment smell sweet, and knitting a hoot! |
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