"Excuse me, would you like to donate a year of your life for the Energy Drive?" A Pale and Chipper Woman in a red sweater and black yoga pants asks a college freshman in checkered pajama pants, sitting in the quad, sipping on a chocolate chip frape.
"Energy Donors receive a t-shirt or a pint of Baskin Robbins ice-cream."
"For a year?" The Girl raises a brow.
"It is a donation." The Energy Drive Woman justifies. "Getting anything from a donation is actually pretty generous."
"But you're asking for an entire year of my life and all I'd get in return for my time is either ice-cream or a t-shirt?!"
The woman nods.
"That's so stupid!"
"Look, how old are you?"
A: 17, blonde, and a English Major B: 18, brunette, and undeclared C: 19, a redhead, an a Liberal Arts Major
Of course they want more than just a year! Typical!
"I don't really want to be pushing thirty. My Mom's 36... that'd be pretty weird."
"But you'll be helping so many people!" The ED Woman guilts. "Plus, you'll receive knowledge in any of the ten listed professions on that list. Plus, the credentials to get that job! Think about it, you'll be skipping college!"
"I like college!"
"But wouldn't you rather be financially stable?!"
"Why not now?"
"Look, it's an amazing offer, your actions will immensely benefit the community, and the payout is pretty nice!"
"Fine. I'll donate ten years!"
"Wonderful!" The ED Woman claps as Nosferatu creeps up from behind, licking his lip with pure black eyes. "Have you decided on a profession?"
A: A Dentist B: An Accountant C: A Baker with a business degree D: Something else
"I don't want an office job..." Samantha shakes her head at the options of being an accountant, therapist, or public relations assistant. And she most definitely didn't want to be a dentist! Her uncle was one and he lost three fingers!
"Uh... I guess a baker with a business degree...and, wow, that's a weirdly specific option!"
"You'd be surprised how many people take that option." The ED Woman chuckles.
At this point, Samantha is taken back to Nosferatu breathing down on her neck. Taking deep, deep breaths, his bony hand hovering over her arms!
"Now, just sign this form, which is your consent to donating ten years of your life energy, and we'll get the process started!"
With a slow and awkward squiggle, Samantha Horton signs her name in red ink.
The second it dried, Nosferatu lunged at her neck, his incisors pierced into her skin!
She panics, her arms held down by Nosferatu, as The ED Woman speaks in a calm and relaxing voice.
"It's okay, it'll be over soon enough."
As she stands till, her body starts to fee strange as a loud sucking sound pulsates in her ears.
Her body grows four inches in height within seconds, her hips widened by a good ten centimeters, a fortunate choice to be wearing pajama pants. Her forehead begins to form small, yet rather noticeable lines of dermabrasion, and her, which was curled at shoulder length, recedes to a pixie cut.
"Thank you for donating ten years to the Compassionate Vampires." The ED Woman smiles happily.
As Nosferatu let's go, Sam nearly topples to the ground, her head pounding like a decade's worth of hangovers!
"Gah!" She shouts in agony.
"It's okay." Nosferatu speaks in a light toned, high pitched, feminine, Eastern European accent. "That's just information sinking in."
"Information?" Sam looks puzzled.
"Your business degree." The ED Woman clarifies. "And your culinary skills."
"Don't worry, the nausea and headaches will calm down by morning. Till then, I suggest you get a ride home and rest for the rest of the day."
"We'll be sending you a degree in the mail." The ED Woman assures. "Till then, would you like a t-shirt or pint of Baskin Robbin's Ice-cream?"
A) Sam gets a ride home from her mom B) Sam gets a pint of ice cream from Baskin Robbins and suffers the consequences. C) Something else.
When the car stopped at a McDonald's, a 36 year old redhead, hands clenched on the steering wheel, shakes her head and sighs as her daughter, now a 29 year old, is as mute as a mouse on Christmas.
"You seriously don't know how to say no, do you?"
"Samantha Regina Horton, you're old enough to be my younger sister now!" Her mother scolds, taking a left immediately after a truck honks loudly from behind.
"So, what's the plan, are you dropping out of college?"
Sam shakes her head.
"I don't need to."
"What do you mean, YOU DON'T NEED TO?" The Young Matriarch questions.
"I have a business degree now."
"Of course you do." The Mom sighs. "Energy Vampires!"
Parked in the driveway, Sam's Mom starts to lightly chuckle.
"Well, the women in our family get a streak of white around 40... I'm sorry, but, it's kinda nice knowing you won't be teasing me in a few years!"
A: Samantha is an Energy Anemic, which means as she sleeps that night, she ages an additional ten years. B: Sam gets her degree in the mail... and another offer if she donates a few more years. C: Sam visits a friend a week later.
kappa: Hope everyone who turned 21 yesterday enjoyed there first legal drink 😘
Mar 1, 2020 23:28:55 GMT -6
anonguy: I hope this pandemic ends soon and we can go on with our lives...I'm sick of being cooped up in my house. I want to see a movie!
Mar 22, 2020 17:27:18 GMT -6
kappa: Anonguy, to personally deal with this situation, I think about an old Chinese proverb about an Old Man Who Lost His Horse. PRETENTIOUS, I KNOW 😂 But, still, it's a valid lesson. Opportunity and Tragedy are two sides of the same coin. 😘
Mar 22, 2020 20:08:23 GMT -6
kappa: For example, you could watch Onward on Prime Video. Also, I believe other films are taking that leap.
Mar 22, 2020 20:09:07 GMT -6
kappa: not the same as the movie experience, I admit, but heck, I might just crumble a tray of brownies into a batch of popcorn! 🥰
Mar 22, 2020 20:09:57 GMT -6
anonguy: I don't have Prime. And I want to go out and stretch my legs.
Mar 22, 2020 20:12:26 GMT -6
kappa: Apparently, you could watch it on YouTube for $19.
Mar 22, 2020 20:15:23 GMT -6
kappa: And Google Play
Mar 22, 2020 20:16:09 GMT -6
kappa: Fun fact about The Life of Brian. The Love Interest in real life becomes mayor of a town in like Wales or something 😹
Apr 1, 2020 15:52:13 GMT -6
kappa: I swear to God, if The Brits give me one more positive surprise this week! Like something involving Helen Mirren... actually, yeah, she's definitely the Brit I'd love to see doing something special. ♥️
Apr 2, 2020 9:08:56 GMT -6
tej2506: Would there be any interest in a 4th session of the AP support group? I went AWOL after Session 1, and I miss doing group RPs. I really think it could bring us all together during these strange times, and it's the longest thread on the forum for a reason.
Apr 3, 2020 2:30:20 GMT -6
tej2506: Nevermind, forgot that Kappa's nerd talk is 45 pages long.
Apr 3, 2020 2:31:06 GMT -6
kappa: And counting 😘🤣
Apr 3, 2020 14:44:23 GMT -6
spyguy: I’m always down to revisit that game some time!
Apr 3, 2020 17:49:07 GMT -6
tej2506: Sounds good! I'll start it up in a few days.
Apr 4, 2020 11:38:23 GMT -6
tej2506: The Support Group is up now!
Apr 4, 2020 15:42:51 GMT -6
kappa: 2021 Better have a Golden Girls Remake. Just saying. It's needed 🤣
May 31, 2020 22:05:18 GMT -6
chronoeclipse: I know this site is largely an escape from the real world and it's goings-on. But with consideration for Blackout Tuesday, that's occurring across social media and the internet today i've chosen to pause my story and refrain from posting for the day.
Jun 2, 2020 9:11:32 GMT -6
chronoeclipse: A Day in a Lifetime will pick back up tomorrow. Be safe, be thoughtful, do what you can to support the people in your community that need it.
Jun 2, 2020 9:15:01 GMT -6