"What do you mean I'm Energy Anemic?!" Sam, dressed in her mom's old blue flannel jacket with matching jeans, shouts at a portly, purple skinned man behind a desk at a Compassionate Vampire Office.
"Vell, Anemia results from a lack of red blood cells or dysfunctional red blood cells in the body vich leads to reduced oxygen flow to the body's organs." The Vampire explains. "For Energy Anemics, this means your energy flow is being blocked."
Sam tries her best to understand what's going on.
"So, because you guys drained ten years from me..."
"Yes, ve, unfortunately, didn't account for you being an Energy Anemic. Very Sorry... naturally, ve vill compensate you for this inconvenience."
"Am I going to keep aging rapidly?!"
"No, No, No." The Vampire wags a finger.
"So, I won't age anymore?"
"No... uh... it's like... ah... Oh! It's like a river filled with vater, the blockage causes leaks, vich is is vy you aged aged ten years last night. Ven the vater is reduced, so vill the... uh... the aging."
"How old will I get then?"
The Vampire takes a good look at Sam, his eyes sparkling white.
"In Medieval Times, 1 out of every 5 Human suffered from the Husk Curse, or, as we call it today, Energy Anemia." A Pale, Blonde Bombshell states on a YouTube PSA.
Sam, coping with the fact that, eventually, she'll be 55 way, way, way before her own mother, sits in the living room, wrapped in a blanket, in a fetal position, listening, but dumbfounded at where life is taking her.
Below her feet, a form from the Compassionate Vampires. She'll receive a sum of 35 Grand a month for the next ten years! But what's money compared to lost youth?!
"In Modern Times, only 1 in 25 suffer from Energy Anemia. If you suffer from the ailment, you may have some questions. Don't worry, we have plenty of answers!"
A: Are There really mental side effects to Energy Anemia? B: Is it true my sexual attractions will... mature? C: Something else.
Forced to attend am Energy Anemia Support Group by her mother, who was now biologically 13 years her junior, Sam begrudgingly sat in a room filled with middle aged and elderly men and women as well as a single Energy Vampire... who, for some reason, was in charge of the meeting!
"I'd like to welcome the regulars..." A Young Man smiles with a british accent, his white teeth gleaming, resembling a 1970s David Bowie with pure white hair in a modern cut.
[the one where the sides are shaved and the top is left alone. I think Macklemore had hair like that? I don't feel like googling what it's called. It's information I don't need nor want 😂]
"And I'd like to introduce the newcomer. Ms Horton?"
"Call me, Sam, please." Samantha sighs.
Everyone in the room either grinned or lightly chuckled. It was a comment they all related to, one way or another.
"Okay, Sam, thank very much for coming today. My name is Alton Cabbage... and I'm sure your not exactly thrilled for me to be here."
"It's quite all right." Alton assures, cutting Sam off. "You don't have to sugarcoat anything here. Call me a bastard, an asshole, even a cunt."
A few elderly ladies gasped.
"Language!" A 91 Year old woman, dressed in a purple track suit, neck drooping like a galapagos tortoise, hair a frizzy, short grey, wags a bony finger at the vampire.
"Sorry, Ms Francis. But, Sam, please, feel free to let out any anger you have. I sincerely encourage it."
"I mean... it's not like you're the reason I'm old." Sam shrugs her spongy shoulders.
"Still, I'm a member of a race capable of making you even older. I would not hold it against you to harbor resentment towards me or any Energy Vampire." Alton prods. "And I want to be clear about that, I'm not here to make you forgive us. I'm here to listen."
"You sure do talk a lot for someone here to listen!" A morbidly obese 60 Year old on a rascal, with a nasally voice, whispers loudly to an 90 year old, sitting to her left, slowly knitting a sweater.
"Look... I'm old, and I'm going to be 55 sooner or later."
An 85 Year Old Latina cackles like a which across the room.
"Mija, 55 ain't old. Talk to me when your life revolves around medication!"
A: Continue the meeting B: Sam is dragged to a bar by her Mother... and referred to as her Mom's older sister the entire night! C: Sam wakes up one more 55!
kappa: Hope everyone who turned 21 yesterday enjoyed there first legal drink 😘
Mar 1, 2020 23:28:55 GMT -6
anonguy: I hope this pandemic ends soon and we can go on with our lives...I'm sick of being cooped up in my house. I want to see a movie!
Mar 22, 2020 17:27:18 GMT -6
kappa: Anonguy, to personally deal with this situation, I think about an old Chinese proverb about an Old Man Who Lost His Horse. PRETENTIOUS, I KNOW 😂 But, still, it's a valid lesson. Opportunity and Tragedy are two sides of the same coin. 😘
Mar 22, 2020 20:08:23 GMT -6
kappa: For example, you could watch Onward on Prime Video. Also, I believe other films are taking that leap.
Mar 22, 2020 20:09:07 GMT -6
kappa: not the same as the movie experience, I admit, but heck, I might just crumble a tray of brownies into a batch of popcorn! 🥰
Mar 22, 2020 20:09:57 GMT -6
anonguy: I don't have Prime. And I want to go out and stretch my legs.
Mar 22, 2020 20:12:26 GMT -6
kappa: Apparently, you could watch it on YouTube for $19.
Mar 22, 2020 20:15:23 GMT -6
kappa: And Google Play
Mar 22, 2020 20:16:09 GMT -6
kappa: Fun fact about The Life of Brian. The Love Interest in real life becomes mayor of a town in like Wales or something 😹
Apr 1, 2020 15:52:13 GMT -6
kappa: I swear to God, if The Brits give me one more positive surprise this week! Like something involving Helen Mirren... actually, yeah, she's definitely the Brit I'd love to see doing something special. ♥️
Apr 2, 2020 9:08:56 GMT -6
tej2506: Would there be any interest in a 4th session of the AP support group? I went AWOL after Session 1, and I miss doing group RPs. I really think it could bring us all together during these strange times, and it's the longest thread on the forum for a reason.
Apr 3, 2020 2:30:20 GMT -6
tej2506: Nevermind, forgot that Kappa's nerd talk is 45 pages long.
Apr 3, 2020 2:31:06 GMT -6
kappa: And counting 😘🤣
Apr 3, 2020 14:44:23 GMT -6
spyguy: I’m always down to revisit that game some time!
Apr 3, 2020 17:49:07 GMT -6
tej2506: Sounds good! I'll start it up in a few days.
Apr 4, 2020 11:38:23 GMT -6
tej2506: The Support Group is up now!
Apr 4, 2020 15:42:51 GMT -6
kappa: 2021 Better have a Golden Girls Remake. Just saying. It's needed 🤣
May 31, 2020 22:05:18 GMT -6
chronoeclipse: I know this site is largely an escape from the real world and it's goings-on. But with consideration for Blackout Tuesday, that's occurring across social media and the internet today i've chosen to pause my story and refrain from posting for the day.
Jun 2, 2020 9:11:32 GMT -6
chronoeclipse: A Day in a Lifetime will pick back up tomorrow. Be safe, be thoughtful, do what you can to support the people in your community that need it.
Jun 2, 2020 9:15:01 GMT -6