kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 5,085
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Post by kappa on Nov 3, 2019 18:25:33 GMT -6
| Pizza 🍕 (16") | Info 🗄 | Price 💷 | | The Spicy Cougar 🐆 | Jalapeños and Pepperoni on a thick crust.
May Cause: Hot Flashes, sudden weight gain, a sexual attraction to younger men,
a desire to dress trashy and show off more skin, a desire to hangout
at bars, a need to smoke cigarettes, drink, and dance. | 15.99 | | The Prudish Pepperoni 💍 | Pepperoni and Basil.
May Cause: A tendency to be easily shocked by matters relating to sex or nudity, excessively concerned with sexual propriety, Grey hair, prominent wrinkles, a disinterested in popular music of today.
| 15.99 | | The Karen Short Cut👩🏼💼 | Korean Short Ribs with a Roasted Garlic Aioli Sauce.
May Cause: A Short Bob Cut, Self Entitlement, a desire to complain to staff over any little thing, a mom purse. | 16.99 | | The Italian Grandma 🍅 | Italian Sausage, extra mozzarella, with garlic basil tomato sauce on a thin crust.
May Cause: A Need to cook Italian Dishes for the grandkids you apparently have, an increase in breast size, a newfound knowledge of the Italian language, a love for Barbara Streisand. | 16.99 | | The Abuelita Chorizo 👵🏻 | Pork Chorizo with a spicy tomato sauce and Queso Fresco.
May Cause: A increase in weight, a decrease in height, a desire to wear a comfy house dress, a desire to cook, a desire to call young people either Mija or Mijo, a need to watch trashy tv shows with spoiled, rich brats getting laid, drunk, or high in the big city. | 16.99 | | The Old Wasp Olive 🐝 | Olives. (Can be blended with the Prudish Pepperoni if requested)
May Cause: An increase in your bank account, a drastic increase in your age, senility, weak knees, poor eyesight, angina, a husband amazingly older than you are! | 16.99 | | The Sweet Auntie 🍯 | A sweet tomato sauce, extra mozzarella, with Canadian bacon, pepperoni, sausage, and bacon.
May Cause: a beehive hairstyle, sudden weight gain, hot flashes, a need for chained glasses, an eccentric style in clothes, a hoarse voice, and a desire to pinch cheeks. | 16.99 | | The Stork Special 🐣 | BBQ Chicken.
May Cause: Sudden Pregnancy. | 10.99 | | The Cat Lady Special 🐱 | Tuna Fish.
May Cause: rapid aging, a desire to own multiple cats, insanity. | 10.99 |
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bob
Elder Member
Posts: 173 
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Post by bob on Nov 3, 2019 19:32:19 GMT -6
Oh man, all of these are so fun and creative. Cool idea! i especially like the Karen Short Cut.
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 5,085
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Post by kappa on Nov 3, 2019 21:14:26 GMT -6
Oh man, all of these are so fun and creative. Cool idea! i especially like the Karen Short Cut. Aw Shucks, I sure am glad you like 'em! 😉 Especially the Karen Short Cut. Did you know we marinate our kalbi beef in a "homemade" Korean Sauce we purchased off Amazon and call it our "Bomb Bulgogi Sauce"?! It's a simply fantastic blend of indulgently overboard self entitlement sure to fuel its consumer into a prissy, self absorbed aging mess that thinks things like: ~Off brands are unacceptable for their precious babies! ~A Bad Mall is a Mall without Valet Parking. ~ If you're wearing a blue shirt at Walmart, then, you obviously must work at Walmart! ~ And if you curse in front of their precious offspring, you better pay up and apologize with an expensive toy or candy! At Wizard Shack, we take our food seriously, we aim to give our customer an amazing experience, and have fun with our menu and make sure the entertainment surpasses the cost. 💴 I'm Merlin Mike The Wizard Chef and I sure do hope you enjoy what I cook up! 👨🏽🍳 |
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 5,085
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Post by kappa on Nov 3, 2019 22:37:42 GMT -6
Merlin Mike, The Wizard Chef, here with a fantastic new menu for all you comic book nerds out there! 🤓
Not everyone wants to see the sausage get made, some people just like eating it! 🌭
At Wizard Shack, we've teamed up with:
Time Promos, a company that can send you to any point in time, BUT, only when entering a restaurant, AND, only to acquire a limited time promotion. Example, The McDLT, Circa 1984.
&
Multiversal Airs, a travel agency where anywhere is possible! A version of England where the official language is French? Done! A world where Hillary Duff is an 85 Year old Matriarch on an American Turn of The Century Drama? Done! A world where Kit Kat's have a hyphen?! DONE!
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 5,085
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Post by kappa on Nov 3, 2019 23:09:33 GMT -6
| Promo Item 🥡 | Food Info 🧾 | Location Info📍 | | McCoy Burger 🍔 | Cheeseburger with caramelized onions and four strips of bacon. | On a world where The Original X-Men are Middle Aged and retired from the spandex. Hank owns a fast food chain called McCoy's, and as you enjoy your burger, you'll likely see a 50 Year old Jean Grey, picking a salad, craving something greasy, envious at a group of slim high school girls laughing and gossiping. | | Frostwitch 🥪 | A roast beef sandwich with a secret bbq sauce. | You'll find the Frostwich is served on a world where Emma Frost is a greasy, rotund, 54 year old blonde owner of a sandwich truck permanently parked on a dirt road in Upstate New York. While you enjoy your sandwich, watch the slobbish owner flirt with men half her age! | | The Black Widower 🌯 | A Carne Asada Burrito with a spicy guacamole (French Fries optional) | At The Avenger's Beach Grill, watch a 65 year old redhead, a rich widow, enjoy a burrito named after her. A woman married not once, not twice, but six times and all buried not ten years after the ring was on her now bony, age spotted finger! | | The Bat Dog 🌭 | A bacon wrapped spicy link sausage on a brioche bun. | On a world where Bryce Wayne travels the counter in a food truck with her lover, Diana Prince, a woman more than twice her age, you'll enjoy a hot dog inspired by Los Angeles and New Orleans, and, if you're lucky, you might just see a teenage girl eat out her 50 year old girlfriend behind the food truck! | | Howard The Duck's Pizza 🍕 | A pizza with duck sauce and, you guessed it, CHICKEN. 😸 | Is it made from duck? Let's hope now. Cause at Howard The Duck's Pizza Studio, you're more interested in the group of moms that show up once a week with their rugrats. A group of moms know as the Avenger Milfs! | | Superman Fried Chicken 🍗 | Fried Chicken as big and massive as Krypton's Son! | What if Superman was raised in Kentucky and started a business called Red Star Fried Chicken? While you're thinking about that, his wife, Ms Prince, is oj every commercial, her saggy busy and fake southern accent the bulge in your pants!
| | Flash Tacos 🌮 | Street Tacos with your choice of beef, chicken, pork, or shrimp! | What if superheroes were outlawed twenty years ago? Well, that didn't stop The Flash from making something of himself! Come for the tacos, stay for a middle aged Zatanna having a fight with her teenage daughter about her curfew! | | Wonder Doughnuts 🍩 | Doughnuts fried by the grace of Hera! | Enjoy the labor of love from a hundred year old, great, great grandmother, amazingly, able to run an entire doughnut shop all by herself! Oh, and the beavertails, eh! | | Wasp Cakes 🍰 | Sweet strawberry cakes with a cream cheese frosting. | Set in a world reminiscent to Victorian England, The Wasp is a refined beauty with cakes that match her elegance, tastes that match her wealth, and sweets that match her waistline. | | Poison Ivy Cookies 🍪 | Shortbread Edibles with a strawberry filling | Wanna go to a world where Pamela Isley is an aging hippy, in a long term relationship with Harley Quinn, selling shortbread edibles that look like grandma made it but taste like the stuff your Uncle Dougie grows?! |
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Post by rayc5678 on Nov 4, 2019 8:46:08 GMT -6
Both the Black Widower and the Wonder Doughnuts have caught my attention.
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 5,085
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Post by kappa on Nov 4, 2019 13:45:36 GMT -6
Both the Black Widower and the Wonder Doughnuts have caught my attention. Aw shucks, that sure is nice to hear! 😻 Wanna hear some details about 'em? Sure you do! 👍🏼 The Black Widower is made with a 12 inch flour tortilla, pan fried on both sides with a light amount of olive oil, blanketing a skirt steak marinated in orange juice, jalapeños, minced garlic, and just a smidge of white vinegar, melted with a heavy amount of cheddar and paired with a spicy guacamole either inside the burrito or served outside if requested! It's Natasha Romanoff Roger Stark Barton Banner Williams Wilson's favorite! Wanna know about her? Well, she started off a trophy wife for a WWII/Korea/Vietnam Vet, Steve Rogers. Tragically, he died about four years after the honeymoon in Maui. A honeymoon Natasha went on five more times, always getting the same burrito from a little shack on the beach. If you like muffin tops, a distinctive white stand of hair in her curly red locks, saggy double d's, and collagened lips, why not risk it with a woman the feds have had their eyes on since 1974?! Now, onto Wonder Doughnuts! Eighty Years ago, Diana Prince opened up a Doughnut shop in a small town just outside of Toronto. A lot has changed in Canada since then, a lot has changed since that 20 year old started frying dough, but the recipes and restaurant hasn't changed one bit! Some touch ups here and there, a few additions to the menu. But it's still Wonder Doughnuts and will always be a Wonderful treat! At a hundred, many people close to Diana have suggested that she retire for nearly twenty years now. But Diana? Well, she's still teaching baking classes on the weekends, working at five in the morning and closing shop at twelve at night like she's still that slender, youthful goddess she was in the '30s! It takes a little longer to get a cup of coffee these days, but it's worth the wait, trust me! 😉 At Wizard Shack, we know you've got plenty of options, and we appreciate your patronage! Are you interested in our associates at Time Promos? Just enter the promo, Wicked Hunger, and you'll be able to take guest with you back in time, BUT, that's a one way trip for them, naturally 😈 Also, if you're interested in Multiversal Airs, you're in luck! They have a temporal transfer special this month only for only 20 dollars! Think about it, you could send Selena Gomez to a world where she's an 80 year old grandma, living in an assisted living facility, knitting on a couch when she's not taking a nap! Order now while the offer is still available! |
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 5,085
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Post by kappa on Nov 4, 2019 16:28:12 GMT -6
| Sandwiches 🥪 (£10) | Description | May Cause | | The Boneless Bingo Wing Club | Panko Breaded, boneless chicken wings on a French roll with melted cheddar jack cheese and a pickle. | Bingo Wings, a desire to play bingo, paying in change, tipping barely ten percent, a desire to write a trashy romance novel. | | The PTA Special | Provolone Cheese, Tomato, and Avocado on toasted white bread. | Children, A Mom Purse, thick framed glasses, accidentally cutting up your food at of habit, an unsexy snort of a laugh, a weak bladder, limited use of curse words, and when having to use the bathroom saying 'I need to tinkle' even though you're not around any kids. | | The Three Cheese Toastie | Mozzarella, Provolone, and a Cheddar on pan griddled white bread. | A Posh British Accent, crow's feet, heavy bags under the eyes, knowledge of Prime Ministers Thatcher to Johnson, pasty, wrinkled skin, and a secret love for black leather, chains, and getting your fanny* spanked!
| | The Aunt Patty Melt | Ground beef Patty with melted mozzarella on toasted sourdough. | Sudden weight gain, a loud cackle, licking your thinning lips when a young man with a tight tush strolls your way, hot flashes, a desire to take up a creative writing class at your local community center. |
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