deptx
Elder Member
Posts: 105 
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Post by deptx on Nov 2, 2020 3:37:25 GMT -6
Yo girlfriend so old every time she steps out into the sun she gets new wrinkles.
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 5,815
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Post by kappa on Nov 2, 2020 10:29:04 GMT -6
Yo girlfriend so old every time she steps out into the sun she gets new wrinkles. 👨🏿🦱So... Wanna go to the farmers market this weekend? An elderly woman sits on a recliner, watching The Bachelorette with a wrinkled scowl on her withered, age spotted face. 👵🏻... Seriously? 👨🏿🦱Yeah. We haven't gone in a while, Stacy. We can get some ointments and lotions... I think that Pupusa Stand you like is still open. And that empanada stand too. 👵🏻Remember what that weird voice said?! Yo girlfriend so old every time she steps out into the sun she gets new wrinkles! Yeah, I member! 👨🏿🦱... 👵🏻You again?! What do you want now? I'm like 90 years old, you ass! I just wanted to talk about the farmers market, Yo. They got this soap that's great for eczema. They got these really nice canes. Oh, and yes, they gots pupusas. Check it, that old lady started making bacon and cheese pupusas! It's dope, Yo! 👨🏿🦱Wasn't she like 20? 👵🏻... Seriously, Dave? 👵🏻And I'm not going to the farmers market! 👵🏻... but, if you go... that bacon and cheese pupusa sounds pretty good. That's the spirit! |
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 5,815
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Post by kappa on Nov 9, 2020 18:55:14 GMT -6
👩🏻💼📱Look, it's not you, it's me.
🧑🏻📱Tip for the future, most people prefer a less... sugar coated dump.
Speaking of Dumps!
🧑🏻📱Hello?
👩🏻💼📱Paul, are you using a landline or something?
🧑🏻📱...No.
Yo Ex Girl is so old, she got dem gassy farts!
👵🏻📱I do not have *prmphhhphhhh*
🧑🏻📱... Carol?
Have fun on the John, Carol!
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niddlyby43
Elder Member
Age before beauty.
Posts: 623
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Post by niddlyby43 on Nov 9, 2020 20:46:25 GMT -6
A young woman jogging in some nice fitting leggings and a nice sports bra was making her way down the path with her dog.
“You’re girlfriend so old....”
Feeling the ominous sign of time rearing it’s timely head, “Come on man!!? I just got to the right weight too...” she exclaimed.
“.....her bones make more noise than she does!!”
The petite young woman begins to deflate and shrink while jogging. Her brunette hair looses it sheen, and goes completely white. Leaving a stringy mess of a hun of her hair. Her skin shrivels and wrinkles, a prominent wattle forms on her neck. Her B cup breasts empty and pool in her now spacious sports bra, while her strong legs atrophy and wrinkle making pops and sounds with each movement. While her back hunches forward some, “Oh god my bones......they rattling so loudly now....”she said stopping some looking at their hands, translucent skin marred with veins and age spots.
Looking at her boney shriveled ass in her loose leggings, “Back is popping so loud even my deaf ass can hear it!!” She exclaimed as she shuffled her way home, each step louder than the next.
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keith943
Elder Member
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Posts: 944
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Post by keith943 on Nov 9, 2020 21:01:00 GMT -6
Yo girlfriend is so old that she doesn't bother with anti-aging cosmetics that is supposed to take 40 years off her appearance since after applying them the end result would be that she would appear 80 years old rather than her 120years old.
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 5,815
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Post by kappa on Nov 9, 2020 21:03:58 GMT -6
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keith943
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Posts: 944
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Post by keith943 on Nov 9, 2020 21:06:33 GMT -6
Yo girlfriend is so old that she doesn't bother with anti-aging cosmetics that is supposed to take decades of her appearance since after applying them the end result would be that she would appear 80 rather than her actual advanced age. Is that phrasing it better/clearer than before?
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 5,815
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Post by kappa on Nov 9, 2020 21:08:02 GMT -6
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keith943
Elder Member
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Posts: 944
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Post by keith943 on Nov 9, 2020 21:12:03 GMT -6
I am trying to phrase my joke in a way that the youngest age that Anti aging cosmetics assist the girlfriend to appear is her 80s so she doesn't bother with the expense. I am having a difficult time converting the joke into less is more.
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 5,815
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Post by kappa on Nov 9, 2020 21:17:27 GMT -6
I am trying to phrase my joke in a way that the Anti aging cosmetics to appear at the most in her 80s so she doesn't bother with the expense. I am having a difficult time converting the joke into less is more. YOU ARE SOOOOO CLOSE! YO GIRLFRIEND SO OLD, SHE DON'T BOTHER WITH MAKEUP. IT DON'T DO A THANG! *** 👨🏻Babe, we're gonna be late for the party. 👩🏻💼Just a sec, Honey, I'm almost done with my makeup. 👨🏻You said that half an hour ago. 👩🏻💼And I'm closer than I was half an hour ago, so, don't rush me! 👨🏻... Fine! YO GIRLFRIEND IS SO OLD... 👩🏻💼What was that?! 👨🏻I don't know but his voice freaks me out! YO GIRLFRIEND SO OLD, SHE DON'T BOTHER WITH MAKEUP. IT DON'T DO A THANG! 👵🏻... I've been at this for nearly two hours! 👨🏻... So.... can we get going now? 👵🏻*Glares* 👨🏻I'll just... I'll wait in the living room for you, sweetie.... Let me know when you're ready! Damn, Boy, you one stupid mofo! Have fun with yo beau! 😘 |
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keith943
Elder Member
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Posts: 944
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Post by keith943 on Nov 9, 2020 21:25:42 GMT -6
I am trying to phrase my joke in a way that the Anti aging cosmetics to appear at the most in her 80s so she doesn't bother with the expense. I am having a difficult time converting the joke into less is more. YOU ARE SOOOOO CLOSE! YO GIRLFRIEND SO OLD, SHE DON'T BOTHER WITH MAKEUP. IT DON'T DO A THANG! *** 👨🏻Babe, we're gonna be late for the party. 👩🏻💼Just a sec, Honey, I'm almost done with my makeup. 👨🏻You said that half an hour ago. 👩🏻💼And I'm closer than I was half an hour ago, so, don't rush me! 👨🏻... Fine! YO GIRLFRIEND IS SO OLD... 👩🏻💼What was that?! 👨🏻I don't know but his voice freaks me out! YO GIRLFRIEND SO OLD, SHE DON'T BOTHER WITH MAKEUP. IT DON'T DO A THANG! 👵🏻... I've been at this for nearly two hours! 👨🏻... So.... can we get going now? 👵🏻*Glares* 👨🏻I'll just... I'll wait in the living room for you, sweetie.... Let me know when you're ready! Damn, Boy, you one stupid mofo! Have fun with yo beau! 😘 I was hoping for some more details in similarity to what niddlyby43 does but I will take what I can get thanks. |
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 5,815
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Post by kappa on Nov 9, 2020 21:32:51 GMT -6
YOU ARE SOOOOO CLOSE! YO GIRLFRIEND SO OLD, SHE DON'T BOTHER WITH MAKEUP. IT DON'T DO A THANG! *** 👨🏻Babe, we're gonna be late for the party. 👩🏻💼Just a sec, Honey, I'm almost done with my makeup. 👨🏻You said that half an hour ago. 👩🏻💼And I'm closer than I was half an hour ago, so, don't rush me! 👨🏻... Fine! YO GIRLFRIEND IS SO OLD... 👩🏻💼What was that?! 👨🏻I don't know but his voice freaks me out! YO GIRLFRIEND SO OLD, SHE DON'T BOTHER WITH MAKEUP. IT DON'T DO A THANG! 👵🏻... I've been at this for nearly two hours! 👨🏻... So.... can we get going now? 👵🏻*Glares* 👨🏻I'll just... I'll wait in the living room for you, sweetie.... Let me know when you're ready! Damn, Boy, you one stupid mofo! Have fun with yo beau! 😘 I was hoping for some more details in similarity to what niddlyby43 does but I will take what I can get thanks. I like how you're asking for others to write your idea, your very overly complicated idea, and complain when someone throws you a bone. Guess who won't do that again? This turtle! 🤣 |
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 5,815
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Post by kappa on Nov 9, 2020 22:03:46 GMT -6
Okay, I got a little snippy there and I apologize.
But I stand by statement, Keith. Kappa's not writing any "Yo Girlfriend is So Old" for you.
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kappa
Elder Member
Posts: 5,815
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Post by kappa on Nov 10, 2020 12:01:18 GMT -6
Sarah Tillerson, 26 Years old, a High School English Teacher at Millard High, long blonde hair in a braid, pointed chin, high cheek bones complimenting a button nose, swampy green eyes, 5ft5 and 110 pounds, sits her long and slender legs on a green upholstered couch, dainty toes dangling on the arms as her boyfriend, Tommy, sits on the recliner, watching Steven Universe.
📺"Sometimes, you even sound like her. Do you remember this place? Do you have any of her memories? We were right here, over 5,000 years ago."📺
"Are you seriously crying right now?" Sarah raises a puzzled brow.
"... No." Tommy sniffs.
"You are such a softy!" Sarah giggles.
Speaking of softies.
"Who said that?!" Sarah gets panicky.
YO GIRLFRIEND IS SUCH A MILF, She gets mushy at practically anythang!"
Her body bloated, rounded like a pumpkin, chin doubled, hair dulled in tint, her eyes get watery as Steven Unversed hugs Pearl.
"Oh my goodness, that's soooo sweet!" The 55 year old Sarah gushes with claps, her bingo wings jiggling in the process.
Y'all enjoy your marathon. That ain't even the saddest moment on that franchise!
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keith943
Elder Member
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Posts: 944
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Post by keith943 on Nov 10, 2020 14:13:20 GMT -6
I was hoping for some more details in similarity to what niddlyby43 does but I will take what I can get thanks. I like how you're asking for others to write your idea, your very overly complicated idea, and complain when someone throws you a bone. Guess who won't do that again? This turtle! 🤣 I was not thinking that you would do turn the joke into a miniature story but more like niddlyby43 would be attracted to do so when I initially did the joke. |
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