From FU_BitchPuddin: Yo Girlfriend So Old, Shower Day's her Date Night
If you ever see a tiny blonde, in a frilly, yellow dress, with a strawberry shortcake vibe, and a very raunchy vocabulary, RUN!
She's a god damned demon or monster or vampire. I don't know what she is and that doesn't really matter! I do know that she's nothing but trouble!
So, this happened like a year ago, I was at a Mexican Restaurant with my girlfriend for date night.
Things were normal, I had a beef taco with a Pacifico, she had enchiladas with a strawberry mojito. Everything was fine till we noticed a middle aged waitress, that looked an awful lot like our 20something waitress, with a shot glass wedged in her massive, freckled breasts while a doll-like woman drunkenly motorboated!!!
She shouted loudly, "Ya got tig ole bitties, girl! Tig ole bitties!" Over and over and over!
We should've left then and there. We didn't and it was such a mistake!
"Yo Girlfriend So Old, Shower Day's her Date Night." Since then, unfortunately, that's been the truth. My girlfriend is so old, shower day is like our date night. Washing her saggy, wrinkled breast, shampooing her pure white bush, scrubbing deep up her withered, bumpy rear. It's the most sexual thing we do now.
"Your girlfriend is so old - when she goes down on you they should call it 'Gumilingus'."
R/ Bitch Pudding Encounters #3
From RickyDicky93: Yo Girlfriend so old, when she goes down on you they should call it 'Gumilingus'
I'm not an angry person, I don't wish death and misery on other people. But, FUCK Bitch Pudding!
I was at the beach with my girlfriend. She had a real Selena Gomez vibe, with long locks of blonde hair, and the softest lips you'd ever come across.
Do you have any idea how hard it was to convince my girlfriend to suck my dick at one of those dirty public stalls?!
I heard an Indian King got punished by a wizard for accidentally killing him with an arrow just before release. He lost everything cause you don't do shit like that! If I had the power Bitch Pudding had, I would make that bitch pay for what she did to me!
"Yo Girlfriend so old, when she goes down on you they should call it 'Gumilingus'!"
Okay, I'll admit it was getting pretty fun when she lost her teeth, I'll admit that! But who the fuck wants to stare down at a grandma on their dick?!
Fuck You, Bitch Pudding, that may have been the best BJ of my life, but it wasn't worth my girlfriend aged like 70 years!
... She shakes now and I'll admit that's super helpful, but, still, FUCK YOU, BITCH PUDDING!
From HoneyHoneyHoneyPie: Yo Girlfriend so old, she got dem crusty yellow toenails!
This felt more like a ploy for money, if anything, because I'm pretty sure Bitch Pudding was working at a nail salon.
She cornered me and my girlfriend at a mall, insisted we "get our asses to Ms Prissy's" and "why ain't you going there." And "y'all better get your asses in there." And "I needs me my funions, ya bitch ass, greasy ass lump nuts."
Is lump nuts even a thing? That was the first time anyone called me a lump nut.
Anyway, we tried leaving. We tried, but then she shouts, "Yo Girlfriend so old, she got dem crusty yellow toenails!"
Nail Polish can do so much for my poor girlfriend.
Fuck you, Bitch Pudding. You aged my girlfriend for funions?!"
From TruthfulDick: Yo Girlfriend So Old, Pepto be her best friend!
My Bitch Pudding encounter also involved funions. And my house.
She was in my house! On my couch! Eating a bag of funions.
My girlfriend was on TV, GF was at the weatherwoman for a local station.
"Yo Girlfriend So Old, Pepto be her best friend!"
GF bloated up like a ballon, her neck like a swollen bee sting, her chin doubled, laugh lines formed around her face, hair greyed and shortened to a bop, she grew this flabby fuppa as her thighs hammed.
Her belly gurgled loudly, her potbelly jiggled on camera, her age spotted hands quickly jolted on her gut and she gritted her teeth loudly and begged for pepto.
While that Bitch Pudding ate a bag of funions.
Fuck You, Bitch Pudding! Why funions? Those aren't even a good snack! They're waaaay too salty!
From LaughingHardMike: Yo Girlfriend So Old, her asshole be loose as a Thanksgiving Turkey.
This indirectly happened to me. This actually happened to my brother on Thanksgiving and I think it's hilarious.
You know that relative who always brings a piece of shit to family functions? You know who I'm talking about? Pieces of human garbage, inconsiderate, self absorbed, emotionally indifferent, vain, judgmental and shallow pieces of trash you're better off having absolutely no interaction with whatsoever?
That was my Brother's girlfriend and we all hated her. My parents, my aunts, my uncles, my sisters, my cousins, my grandparents, and even the neighborhood's friendly Old Man Jenkins!
That thanksgiving, after doing my best to avoid my brother and his gf, and noticed a strange, small woman in a yellow dress pop up out of nowhere with two bottles of Jack Daniels between her armpits.
I just ignored her for like half an hour, till I heard the sounds of an old woman groaning loudly.
I thought it was my grandma at first, Nope. It was brother's gf, rapidly aging, with Bitch Pudding's fist going up and down and up and down and up and down Gf's floppy asshole!
Everyone couldn't help but watch. It was just inescapable. Like watching a sexual version of Saw.
Anyways, after that thanksgiving, Brother's Gf was pretty nice and considerate.
She's dating Old Man Jenkins now, she's confined to a wheelchair, makes the best deviled eggs, and, we're all pretty sure gets fisted by Old Man Jenkins at least once a week.
... Let's not get into details why we know that!
So, thank you, Bitch Pudding, I hated that girl before she was an old lady!
JackpotMans: Bracket has been updated!
Feb 2, 2021 0:55:05 GMT -6
MeanMark: Would anyone be interested in contributing to a "FaceApp Creations" thread? Basically a place to share your face-agings of either celebs or people you know.
Feb 3, 2021 12:49:27 GMT -6
JackpotMans: If you are a part of round 2 of the AP Tournament, please check your messages! I would prefer to talk over discord if you use it, but I don't mind conversing here.
Feb 4, 2021 11:53:39 GMT -6
unknown: Is there some Italian?
Feb 11, 2021 14:55:40 GMT -6
unknown: discord.gg/3EvqCxvfsn I created this server in Italian about all kind of transformation in Italian language. But there isn't anyone in old age progression.
Feb 11, 2021 15:01:41 GMT -6
JackpotMans: AP Tournament has been updated! Check out the updates!
Feb 19, 2021 18:01:22 GMT -6
MeanMark: Just started an intractables thread -- join the FaceApp fun!
Feb 23, 2021 10:38:17 GMT -6
JackpotMans: Voting for round 2 will close tomorrow!
Feb 23, 2021 11:37:55 GMT -6
MeanMark: Two-fer Tuesday in the FaceApp thread!
Mar 9, 2021 15:13:46 GMT -6
MeanMark: If you're a fan of age swapping, today's post is for you (kinda)
Mar 18, 2021 13:33:13 GMT -6
kappa: More like age transfer? I get what you mean though. ❤️ It!
Mar 18, 2021 14:31:45 GMT -6
MeanMark: Has anyone else been using the Tapatalk app to access the boards on their phone? This site is suddenly gone from that app.
Mar 19, 2021 7:32:01 GMT -6
MeanMark: The forums are back on the Tapatalk app — weird!
Mar 21, 2021 11:36:43 GMT -6
JackpotMans: The final match for the AP tournament is up! Voting goes live tomorrow!
Apr 1, 2021 20:55:19 GMT -6
kappa: As a TG Fan, I've come across a lot of Great Shift stories, comics, and captions. Feel like this would be a fun AP theme. Have seen AP TG Great Shift Captions though, which definitely supports my thoughts on this cause those are awesome.
Apr 19, 2021 10:05:11 GMT -6
kappa: Y'all might enjoy Jupiter's Legacy. It also might bum ya out how youthful a woman 100+ looks. 🤣
May 7, 2021 13:55:29 GMT -6
kappa: R.I.P Paul Mooney ❤️
May 19, 2021 21:41:16 GMT -6
kappa: Episode 2 of Modok had an interesting AP scene in the end ❤️
May 26, 2021 10:09:28 GMT -6
kappa: Just watched the trailer to the new Space Jam movie. Candi Milo plays granny and her bits are awesome. "I'm gonna go old school on his butt!" Followed by break dancing with a walker. Also, SHE DRINKS A MARTINI.
Jun 8, 2021 9:52:26 GMT -6
kappa: i feel like they genuinely made this film for an older audience 🤣
Jun 8, 2021 9:52:42 GMT -6