AP Halloween 🎃

It's time for...


YO GIRLFRIEND IS SO OLD: Halloween Edition.

👩🏼‍🦰Hey, I just bought this sexy Wednesday Addams Costume!

👱🏼‍♂️And I spent weeks making Thing. His fingers actually move!

👱🏼‍♂️If you're going to fuck with us, can you wait after Halloween?!

YO GIRLFRIEND IS SO OLD, SHE'S GOTTA BE GRANDMA ADDAMS FOR HALLOWEEN!

👵🏼... God Damn It!

👱🏼‍♂️... You can still use Thing.

👵🏼You're missing the point, Warren. I wanted to be sexy!

Yo, some people think Grandma Addams is Sexy.

👵🏼... *Looks at boyfriend*

👱🏼‍♂️...

Y'all have fun tonight. Get your Addams Family Values on!

👩🏼‍🦳Hi, I'm April and I should be 18... except I look 57.

👵🏼Hi, I'm Heather and I should be 23... except I looked 84.

👻Hi, I'm Boogie Man Jackson and this Halloween, don't look under your bed, unless you wanna buys some depends!

👻Apple Juice, Orange Juice, Grape Juice. Why isn’t it Lemon Juice?

👻Or, Or, why isn't it Appleade? Or Orangeade? Or Grapeade?

👵🏼Damn it, Johnny, you can't be that idiot who died from a homemade bunk bed and a genius who tackles the absurdity of the English Language. I'm 85, you died in 2015, when I was a teenager, I shouldn't be thinking you're stupid for using two old refrigerators and smart for bringing something I honestly never thought about!

👻... I'm sorry I upset you like this.

👵🏼You suffocated to death in a refrigerator that was crushed by another refrigerator, you're damn right you get me upset!

Remember, if you died because of something stupid, you shouldn't haunt loved ones. Cause now you're just a jerk!

"God I couldn't be that old." She said looking at a rather elderly woman shuffle across the walkway.  She wore a nice fitting dress with her cane making some loud shaking noises.  One could tell she was wearing dentures, slipping some as she mustered along.

Sitting to the right of the ill mannered young woman was a neatly dress girl.  Plain Jane as it were; brunette hair and standard workout wear, a bit odd for a young Wiccan.  Her ill mannered seat mate was wearing a tube top revealing a pair of nicely freckled cleavage, while her yoga pants hugged her body in a rather shapely way.

"You don't want to live a long peaceful life?" Our wiccan exclaimed, reaching for a old pocket watch.

"Yeah; being unable to move like I used too........dulled taste and a dry ass vag.......not to mention the deflated tits...........going out young seems right.  Not having to worry about if I pissed myself or if my oxygen is on, you know?" Seat mate said, shifting some in her seat.  Our wiccan was adjust the watch every so often, adding some time to our fearful lady.  Just sitting there a few moments had let her cross into MILF territory, though she ballooned in size.  Her perfect midriff had expanded into a poochy muffin top, while her shapely thighs had gained flesh with cellulite (if one was observant, they could make out the varicose veins that are now present on her somewhat pale flesh.)

Rubbing her new belly unconsciously, "Yeah imagine having no strength left to work out and stuff.  I couldn't think of being so frail....." she said feeling her new bingo wings expand.  Her 60s were where she has her weightloss.....and muscle atrophy.  As she sat there, her muscle began to lose massive amounts of mass, leaving deflated thighs and hanging flesh on her arms.  The pot belly she was sporting had shrank and sagged over her yoga pants, oozing over them.  While her thighs seemed to melt into her chair. 

"I mean age gives you wisdom, you would just need to take care of yourself to ward off the effects of time....." Wiccan said as she continued to fiddle with pocket watch.  The poor woman to her left kept on shriveling and shrinking in her seat.  Her vibrant hair had already lost sheen and volume, bleaching out into a thin white mane of 85 year old woman.  Her shirt look ridiculous on her frame, her sagging sacks barely being contained by her sports bra, while her hanging stomach was pooling in her lap.  Her ass had melting into her bony thighs with the residual flesh still pooling there.  Luckily for her, her teeth were still intact however yellow they may have been.

"Could you be a deary and hand me my cane over there? Got keep up my strength these days......wait......" she said fearful as she couldn't really move her legs well.  As she attempted to stand, her knobby knees hit one another repeatedly.  Despite her efforts, she no longer possessed the strength to even stand plopping back down to her seat.  "What??? What did you do me???" she screamed.

Getting up with no effort, "You said you didn't want to be old; so I'm giving you a taste of frailty: enjoy." Wiccan proclaimed.

"Wait!!! NOOooOOOOoooOOO!!!" she exclaimed as she flailed about in her seat.

🎅🏻I see you when you're sleeping.

👱🏼‍♀️...

🎅🏻I know when you're awake!

👱🏼‍♀️I'm starting to get uncomfortable, Santa.

🎅🏻I know when you've been bad or good...

🎅🏻So, be good, for goodness sake!

This Halloween, get old with Santa Claus!

👵🏼What are you even do here in the first place?! It's October!

Santa Claus is Aging The Town, in Theaters October 17th!

🎅🏻Ho Ho Old!

🧸Wanna play a game?

👱🏼‍♀️... No.

🧑🏽‍🦲Fuck No.

👱🏼‍♀️In fact, Cliff, call a Priest, a Rabbi, an Imam, a Buddhist Monk, a Witch Doctor,I don't care, that's a fucking talking teddy bear!

🧸Hey, Cliff, eat her fat, old ass!

🧑🏽‍🦲Mmmmmfff!

👵🏻...

🧑🏽‍🦲Mmmmfff!

👵🏼Guess I'll have to call! You had one job, Cliff and... Oh! Yeah, keep going!

🧸I think his new job is much better.

Hey, do you like Popcorn?!

👱🏼‍♀️Not really.

What?! You don't like Popcorn?!

That's like the epitomony of Hallowiener!

👱🏼‍♀️... I think you mean epitome.

👱🏼‍♀️Also, I've never once associated popcorn with HALLOWEEN!

Man, fuck yo couch!

👱🏼‍♀️What does that even mean?!

It means fuck yo couch, GRANDMA!

👵🏼... What were we talking about again?

Happy Hallowiener, y'all, OR, I'll Fuck Yo Couch!