So, after ten months working from home in sweatpants, I've just been trying on my work outfits, and nothing fits right anymore. My jeans won't buckle, and even my loose blouses and dresses make it look like I've got a tummy pooch. My stomach is so soft!
It's like I've gained weight or something, but that can't be right, I've always been naturally slim and I'm only 29!
I suspect shenaigans. Help!
Reply from- BoxWineQueen
It started off small for me. Being cooped up in the house, I started watching the Hallmark Channel to noise out the boredom. My Mom and Aunt's favorite channel, mind you.
Before I knew it, I was drinking wine on my couch every day at 3 o'clock, just like my Mom and Aunt!
I was eating slim jims for dinner just like my Mom and Aunt!
I became obsessed with Etsy, buying every stupidly cute knickknacks and crafts I could afford!
I think when the mailman, at a distance, waved at me and told me, "Have a nice day, Ma'am." Was when it really hit home for me. I've definitely changed these passed 10 months!
Gosh, I have no idea what happened to me, but one morning, out of the blue, I just woke up a 50 year old housewife just outside of Saint Paul, Minnesota!
It was the darnedest thing!
I'm married to my boyfriend's uncle now, Marvin, and I've apparently been married to Marvin for 25 years!
We have 6 kids, a 10 year old, a 12, a 13, a 15, 17, and 19 year old if you'd believe it!
The 19 year old now goes to the same college I went to not a month ago! The 19 year old is in the same sorority I belonged to not a month ago! The 19 year old looks the spitting image of what I did not a month ago! But I think she's dressed waaay more inappropriate then I ever did!
PLEASE HELP ME! I don't want to spend the rest of my life a Orange slice serving soccer mom!
If this happened to anyone else, please, please, please let me know!
I actually think a balding, middle aged man with a pot belly with a middle management job is a catch!
Will all these people who even if they got away being age progressed to simply middle age rather than their eighties-nineties-hundreds-hundred tens/teens-and hundred twenties but still complaint about will they end up being put through another wave of age progression and now even reality warping until they have reached the ages eighties-nineties-hundreds-hundred tens/teens-and hundred twenties causing them to simply wish that they had remained content at simply being age progressed/reality warped to their middle ages and just appreciated the benefits of being middle-aged.
My Girlfriend was 22 when we started dating, now, she's 73.
... Keep this in mind, we've only been dating for 6 months!
Anyways, I dunno, it's not so bad having a senior citizen girlfriend. We eat super early now, we save so much money not going to clubs every weekend, and you know what? I bought her CBD Oil for her aches and pain, but I use some now and then for my anxieties (mainly about having a senior citizen for a girlfriend) and it's pretty awesome.
She also bakes amazing cookies now.
Don't know if she's cursed or has a disease. Do know we're doing the best we can in a strange situation.
... I'm always on top now when we're... intimate... and an oxygen tank recently got heavily involved. But we're doing okay.... more or less! 🤣
Ok so this weird; sure I've always wanted to have sex with a GILF. My search history proves that much. But this isn't what I meant!! Having a thicc girlfriend with an ass for days was awesome! Anything she wore looked dynamite. But for the past few weeks she has been losing weight. I mean that's her purgative; I'd love her either way. But she was also looking haggard!!
Like, she came back from a run the other day and could barely make it to the sofa; her hair was a mix of dull brunette and gray.......with some white sprinkled in. I hadn't noticed it before, but her form fitting running outfit looked positively baggy on her; like she deflated or something. Anyway, we managed to get to the shower and dear god. She has like......bingo wings and flabby loose thighs man!! She doesn't seem to have gotten any older or baggier, but she insists on wearing her old outfits; its like play dough oozing out all over the place. The last time she was on top, I bet our neighbors could hear the flopping flesh man........
Not to mention........her looking so much older.....like sixties maybe?.........mid stroke, we both heard a pop from her spine. We had to stop and I pushed her to the side to make sure she was ok; her old flesh clung to me something fierce. Though, her heavy nipple rings aren't too bad looking; sag so much they match her belly button ring, distended as it is.
Anyone got a remedy for this? She keeps on twerking in the living with the blinds open, deflated cheeks for all the eye to see. I don't want to move bruh.
Last Edit: Jan 22, 2021 6:37:34 GMT -6 by niddlyby43
I'm pretty sure my local pub is draining the youth out of the nearby universities.
My friend and I, Dougie, have been keeping watch as of late.
Monday: We see a group of sorority chicks enter the pub. Pretty, peppy, youthful. The type of chicks that woo in unison and dance to what're pop song is played on the jukebox.
Tuesday: We see those same chicks, strangely drained, very tired in appearance, dressed a bit more modestly. We're certain as honey on a cucumber tasting like melon that these are the exact same chicks we saw the day prior. But not a single one looks a day under 30!
Wednesday: We see women in their forties sauntering around in flashy dresses, trying to pick up anything with a pulse. Curvy, mature, looking for some fun. They get a little more pep in their step compared to Tuesday.
Thursday: Similar to Wednesday, but their isn't a gal under 50. Some are pear shaped as they come, some apples. Greys, wrinkles, and desperation of "fun" wafts in the air. It's at this point Dougie goes from observation to participation. He an eye on this blonde from day one. He didn't think he had a chance when she was 18. But, now that she looks like Stiffler's Mom, he leapt at the chance and scored like a kid playing t-ball!
Friday: Things calm down about in their 60s. Dougie is pretty sure these are the same sorority chicks from Monday. Especially when he got a second round with Stiffler's Mom!
Saturday: Dougie was trying to get with a woman in her 70s. Buy Stiffler's Mom... or Grandma at this point, was very persistent! I feel bad for these girls. I don't get why the pub is doing this, but I'm very convinced they are involved in this age progression phenomenon.
Sunday: Dougie gave me some information about Sunday. Sunday is Senior Date night. Apparently, they use to not have a lot of women showing up to the events. Till about 6 months ago.
So yeah, I'm pretty sure my pub is hooking up old men. Anyone else with this situation, please, let me know. Feeling pretty bad for Stiffler's Grandma. Can't lie, thought she was hot at 50. Dougie beat me there!
I'm pretty sure the old lady next door, the crazy old cat lady with a big, fat ass, hair always in curlers, dressed in a very unflattering house dress, with a nasally voice and a Karen like attitude use to be my best friend's 21 year old ex.
I mean, they're both named Rebecca Miller*, they both look pretty similar, besides a 40 year difference in age and 100 pound difference in weight, and Old Lady Rebecca* always freaks out with Kenny* shows up to hang.
I think Kenny* is a witch or something. I don't really know. But I do know I haven't seen Young Rebecca* in a year, around the same time Old Lady Rebecca* moved in next door.
I am not a religious nor spiritual man... but I'm from a family of immigrants with strong spiritual and religious beliefs I can't deny were drilled into me my entire life.
So I don't stare at crows directly in the eyes, I wouldn't attempt to harm a crow, I'd never get my palm read, Etcetera, Etcetera.
I don't know if there are or aren't spirits around... I just know I DO NOT WANT TO PROVOKE THEM.
Anyways, I don't really understand how this happened, BUT, what did happen was my girlfriend and her two friends aged like 70 years while playing on a Ouija Board.
Like super old, wrinkled hags in their 90s.
Thin, hunch backed, warts on their once flawless faces kinda old. Shriveled prunes, pretty much.
And I told her not to mess with that stuff. Not that I believed in that kinda stuff Again... well, now I'm pretty sure I have to be religious and spiritual... I visit my girlfriend and her friends at the home once a week, they're literally all I need to believe spirits are among us... and they like to fuck with us pretty good!
From the start, my girlfriend liked wearing diapers.
She liked me rubbing ointment on her feet and legs, she liked me giving her sponge baths, she liked me treating her like I was a registered nurse, and she loved, absolutely loved me treating her like, her words, "a silly old biddy that piddled her diddies."
... She was really hot, btw. Keep this in mind, she was a professional model you might've ogled at in magazines, tv ads, etcetera.
And then, out of nowhere, she aged like 60 years.
She really needs a diaper now, she really needs me to rub her feet and legs, she really needs a sponge bath, for me to take care of her, and change her diaper when she's "a silly old biddy that piddled her diddies."
She wanted this though. I don't know who did it, FUCK THEM, but she couldn't be happier.
They're not dead, thankfully... but they ain't teenagers no more, that's for sure.
And I know what you're thinking. I'm the father of young adults, they grew up and I'm an empty nester sad about my baby girls growing up.
They're suppose to be 15, 16, and 17 years old.
Suppose to be.
It all started when a neighbor got them a job at his bar. I was hesitant at first, but well, they did damage his fence with my truck, I felt inclined to take him up on the offer.
Before I knew it, my girls were looking more and more mature with every passing day.
They looked less and less like teenagers and more and more like plump, women of a certain age, if ya catch my drift.
The youngest, who looks 50, plump as a Christmas goose, teeth yellowed and hair a salt and pepper grey, is now the manager at my neighbor's bar. She lives in an apartment right above the bar and, rumor has it, doesn't go to bed lonely too often.
The middle child, who looks 55, pear shaped as they come, ended up marrying my neighbor. She's now a devoted wife and stepmom of 4 little rugrats. Didn't think I'd be a Papa so soon!
And the oldest, bless her heart, is at the very least 85 in looks. She runs a senior night every Thursday at the bar. Bingo, snacks, and chit chat. She lives at a senior living apartment complex now, the poor thing.
All things considered, none of 'em seem miserable.
JackpotMans: Bracket has been updated!
Feb 2, 2021 0:55:05 GMT -6
MeanMark: Would anyone be interested in contributing to a "FaceApp Creations" thread? Basically a place to share your face-agings of either celebs or people you know.
Feb 3, 2021 12:49:27 GMT -6
JackpotMans: If you are a part of round 2 of the AP Tournament, please check your messages! I would prefer to talk over discord if you use it, but I don't mind conversing here.
Feb 4, 2021 11:53:39 GMT -6
unknown: Is there some Italian?
Feb 11, 2021 14:55:40 GMT -6
unknown: discord.gg/3EvqCxvfsn I created this server in Italian about all kind of transformation in Italian language. But there isn't anyone in old age progression.
Feb 11, 2021 15:01:41 GMT -6
JackpotMans: AP Tournament has been updated! Check out the updates!
Feb 19, 2021 18:01:22 GMT -6
MeanMark: Just started an intractables thread -- join the FaceApp fun!
Feb 23, 2021 10:38:17 GMT -6
JackpotMans: Voting for round 2 will close tomorrow!
Feb 23, 2021 11:37:55 GMT -6
MeanMark: Two-fer Tuesday in the FaceApp thread!
Mar 9, 2021 15:13:46 GMT -6
MeanMark: If you're a fan of age swapping, today's post is for you (kinda)
Mar 18, 2021 13:33:13 GMT -6
kappa: More like age transfer? I get what you mean though. ❤️ It!
Mar 18, 2021 14:31:45 GMT -6
MeanMark: Has anyone else been using the Tapatalk app to access the boards on their phone? This site is suddenly gone from that app.
Mar 19, 2021 7:32:01 GMT -6
MeanMark: The forums are back on the Tapatalk app — weird!
Mar 21, 2021 11:36:43 GMT -6
JackpotMans: The final match for the AP tournament is up! Voting goes live tomorrow!
Apr 1, 2021 20:55:19 GMT -6
kappa: As a TG Fan, I've come across a lot of Great Shift stories, comics, and captions. Feel like this would be a fun AP theme. Have seen AP TG Great Shift Captions though, which definitely supports my thoughts on this cause those are awesome.
Apr 19, 2021 10:05:11 GMT -6
kappa: Y'all might enjoy Jupiter's Legacy. It also might bum ya out how youthful a woman 100+ looks. 🤣
May 7, 2021 13:55:29 GMT -6
kappa: R.I.P Paul Mooney ❤️
May 19, 2021 21:41:16 GMT -6
kappa: Episode 2 of Modok had an interesting AP scene in the end ❤️
May 26, 2021 10:09:28 GMT -6
kappa: Just watched the trailer to the new Space Jam movie. Candi Milo plays granny and her bits are awesome. "I'm gonna go old school on his butt!" Followed by break dancing with a walker. Also, SHE DRINKS A MARTINI.
Jun 8, 2021 9:52:26 GMT -6
kappa: i feel like they genuinely made this film for an older audience 🤣
Jun 8, 2021 9:52:42 GMT -6