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Post by kappa on Nov 1, 2020 1:18:58 GMT -6
Hi!
Yes, I parodied a Steve Martin and John Candy Thanksgiving Movie for the title.
Yes, I'm very proud I parodied a Steve Martin and John Candy Thanksgiving Movie.
Yes, I'm planning on watching Planes, Trains, and Automobiles some time this month.
Anyhoo, got a November Related AP Short? Go for it here!
... And I am probably going to try to involve John Candy in a few of mine! 🤣
🦃🍂❤️
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Post by kappa on Nov 1, 2020 9:21:44 GMT -6
When Christiana went to college, Paula and Ted were, admittedly, worried and aware of the freshman 15.
HOWEVER
They had no idea what unit of 15 or even particular number they should've been worried about!
👩🏼(39) So... how was school, Christiana?
👨🏻(42) Make a lot of friends?
👨🏻Study?
👨🏻Get enough sleep?
👩🏼🦳(50)I wish, Dad! My internship with Professor Simmons was brutal! Took a lot of energy out of me, that's for sure!
👨🏻... I bet!
👩🏼*glaring at her husband*
👩🏼So... uh... your father and I were wondering... maybe you should take a semester off? Recharge the batteries, get some... some rest.
👩🏼🦳I would, but Professor Simmons needs me.*smiling* And his kids too.
👩🏼🦳In fact... is it okay if they come for Christmas? I'D LOVE IT IF YOU MET MY LITTLE RUGRATS! THEY'RE SO CUTE!
👩🏼... Sure, honey.
👨🏻*Whispers* ... I don't think I have the parenting skills to handle this.
👩🏼*Whispers* Neither do I!
The Freshman 50: PARENTS BEWARE!
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Post by kappa on Nov 1, 2020 10:08:49 GMT -6
🧔🏻🇬🇧Well, it's that special time of year in November once again.
🧔🏻That's right, it's Guy Fawkes Day!
🧔🏻A bonfire night of fireworks in The UK!
👱🏼♀️🇺🇸 So... was Guy Fawkes some sort of British Hero or something?
🧔🏻Nope. The opposite. He plotted to kill the king and many members of parliament with gunpowder, he failed, and they hung 'em to death.
👱🏼♀️...
👱🏼♀️And that's a holiday?
🧔🏻Mhmm. Can you feel that burn, mum?
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
👩🏼🦳...Yes?
🧔🏻Happy Bonfire Night, Britain! Hope all you birds out there don't get too hot!
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Post by kappa on Nov 1, 2020 12:51:59 GMT -6
👩🏼So, this is your hometown?
👱🏽Yeah, it's a little small, BUT, it has its charm.
👩🏼Sure.
Kelly looks around her boyfriend Mike's room.
Pretty typical suburban vibe with band posters, old toys, an old Nintendo Wii U.
👩🏼I guess we can manage a weekend.
GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE!
👩🏼What was that?!
👱🏽Dad? Mom?
👩🏼I thought they went out to breakfast with your sister and brother-in-law?
GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE! OLD TURKEY! OLD TURKEY!
Suddenly, Kelly's neck starts to turkey waddle, her skin thinned and spotted with she, her hair dulled and greyed.
GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE! OLD TURKEY, INDEED!
👩🏼🦳... What the hell just happened?
👩🏼🦳Why... How... why am I so old?!
👱🏽...
👩🏼🦳...
Kelly looks at her Boyfriend's massive erection.
👩🏼🦳Really?!
👱🏽*Nods*
Kelly shrugs her shoulders and slowly plops onto Mike's twin sized mattress with Spider-Man Sheets.
GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE! OLD TURKEY! OLD TURKEY!
GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE! OLD TURKEY, INDEED!
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Post by kappa on Nov 1, 2020 15:06:17 GMT -6
👵🏽You moron! You stupid, annoying moron!
👵🏽Thanks to you, I aged like 60 years over night!
👵🏽Because you didn't bother to read that the canned cranberry sauce was expired!
👵🏽Idiot!
👨🏻🦱...
👵🏽One thing! You had one thing to do this thanksgiving and you blew it!
👵🏽A child could've done this. A monkey could've done this. And talked less doing it too! God, do you EVER shut up?! You're stupider and louder than a baby chimp!
👨🏻🦱...
👨🏻🦱You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.
👵🏽...
👵🏽Randy, I'm your wife.
👵🏽And that was the hottest thing you've ever said!
👵🏽... Get in the bedroom, Randy! *pointing her jiggly bingo wings towards the door*
👵🏽Now!
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Post by kappa on Nov 1, 2020 16:53:51 GMT -6
Hey, it's November.
👩🏼So?
That's means we're midway into seasonal flavors!
👩🏼Oh, like Pumpkin Spice.
Yes, but that's basically a two month flavor.
I'm talking about new flavors getting into the mix!
Like Peppermint, Gingerbread, Eggnog...
👩🏼All those flavors feel like December though.
Seriously? Pumpkin Spice pops up in like August. I shit you not, August.
👩🏼... fair point.
👩🏼We do kinda starts things a little earlier.
Like your menopause.
👩🏼My what?
👩🏼🦳What are you... uggh! It's unbearably hot!* frantically waving hands*
👩🏼🦳What is it 130 degrees?!
Anyways, to all you pumpkin spicers out there, I'm looking forward to eggnog flavored milkshakes and hot chocolate flavored cookies!
👩🏼🦳... Hot Chocolate Flavored Cookies? *beady sweat pouring down her wrinkled face* For some reason, I can't help thinking that's stupid!
Happy Flavor Season! 😘
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Post by kappa on Nov 1, 2020 17:31:11 GMT -6
Thanksgiving 2052
👩🏼🦳Mary Ann Miller, I don't care if all your friends are going to Mars. You're spending thanksgiving on Earth with your family!
👩🏼🦰*Eye Roll* Whatever, Mom.
Mary storms off in a huff.
🧔🏻Hey, honey, check it out.
👩🏼🦳What?
🧔🏻Scarlett Johansson is doing a Thanksgiving Special on Disney7.
👩🏼🦳... God, she got SO OLD!
🧔🏻You know her husband is a Senator? And he was on SNL.
👩🏼🦳Did I miss the SNL Thanksgiving Special this year?
🧔🏻Yeah, Noah and I watched it.
👩🏼🦳And where was I?!
🧔🏻Out like a light by 9:30.
👩🏼🦳... Oh Yeah.
👩🏼🦳*Sigh* Remember when Thanksgiving wasn't so... stressful?
🧔🏻...
👩🏼🦳Pete?
🧔🏻Scarlet looks great for 68.
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Post by kappa on Nov 1, 2020 18:07:32 GMT -6
🧓🏼Have a seat, Moss.
🧑🏻💼Uh, sure, Sir.
🧑🏻💼Is there something wrong?
🧓🏼Yes.
🧓🏼Everyone has been complaining about you this week.
🧓🏼You've harassed all the male employees.
🧓🏼You've aged several female employees by 20, 30, 40, and even as high as 60 years, Moss.
🧓🏼And over a sandwich?
🧑🏻💼Not just any sandwich, Sir.
🧑🏻💼You see, every Thanksgiving, my sister makes the perfect leftover sandwich. It's two slices of toasted garlic bread sandwiching Turkey, ham, cranberries, stuffing, and bacon she smothered in gravy.
🧓🏼... Moss, what you've done because of a sandwich, a sandwich, Moss, doesn't justify aging all our female staff.
🧓🏼Also, I'm pretty sure the janitor threw it away.
🧑🏻💼What?!
🧓🏼If you read my emails, you would've known we had to clean up the staff room fridge. No one was suppose to use it.
🧑🏻💼... Oh.
🧓🏼You're fired and I hate you.
🧓🏼Also, you're objectively one of the worst two people in your friend group.
🧓🏼You're suppose to be the "mature" and "smart" family guy character, but you suck.
🧑🏻💼Now you're being unnecessary.
🧓🏼 So is your character.
🧓🏼Now, send in Janice, the girl you turned into a 90 year old, WE HAVE TO GIVE HER A GOLDEN HANDSHAKE BECAUSE OF WHAT A TOOL YOU ARE.
🧑🏻💼... Yes, Sir.
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Post by kappa on Nov 2, 2020 10:49:54 GMT -6
HEY, DO YOU WANNA BITCHIN TV FOR ONLY 200 BUCKS?!
📺
👱🏻♀️Wow, is that a Samsung?
Mhmmm. And just 200 BUCKS!
👱🏻♀️Alright, I'll take it.
BITCHIN! THAT'LL BE 200 BUCKS & 50 YEARS WORTH OF YOUR LIFE ENERGY.
👱🏻♀️What?
TAX FEE, YO!
👵🏻... Why wasn't the tax fee money?!
BYE, FELICIA, ENJOY YOUR NEW TV!
👵🏻What?!
ENJOY YOUR NEW TV!
👵🏻Yes, I can't really see!
DOPE.
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Post by animeagony on Nov 4, 2020 17:13:19 GMT -6
November
More like
That one month nobody cares about and skips straight to Christmas
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Post by kappa on Nov 7, 2020 12:04:39 GMT -6
November More like That one month nobody cares about and skips straight to Christmas 👱🏻♀️Right?! November is laaaame! 👩🏼🦳Kathy Ann Meyers, how can you say that, young lady?! 👩🏼🦳You know gosh darn well Thanksgiving is my Christmas! 👱🏻♀️*Eye rolls* Yes, mom. 👩🏼🦳Kids these days, I work my fingers to a nub every year for you and do you even appreciate that?! 🦃Gobble Gobble! Sounds like you two need a Thanksgiving flip! Gobble Gobble! 👱🏻♀️... What the hell are you? How can you talk and *Peck* Ow! 👩🏼🦳Hey, don't hurt my daughter you *Peck* Hey! The Turkey vanishes, the mother and daughter inspect their peck marks. 👱🏻♀️... That was weird. 👩🏼🦳Yeah. And... wait... Mom?! 👱🏻♀️... 👩🏼🦳Great, looks like this thanksgiving is gonna be very special! |
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Post by animeagony on Nov 8, 2020 6:12:02 GMT -6
Heh
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Post by kappa on Nov 8, 2020 18:52:07 GMT -6
Hey there, honey pie, want some Country Fried Turkey smothered in white gravy and plated with mashed potatoes and a big, ole, buttery biscuit?
👩🏼... No.
👩🏼Also, Country Fried Turkey?
Mhmmm.
👩🏼I don't... no. That's so unnecessary!
Like aging 50 years cause ya didn't accept my generous offer?!
👵🏻Yes. Just like that!
👵🏻And 25 or 75, I don't see the point in Country Fried Turkey.
Guess ya don't like Crackle Barron.
👵🏻Nope. My old ass is going to Benny's!
😄Benny's: Because Crackle Barron is pretty much just us with a Southern Twang Theme.
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Post by kappa on Nov 10, 2020 11:31:44 GMT -6
👱🏼♀️How am I being a jerk? How?
👩🏼🦰...
👱🏼♀️Cause I don't want to spend thanksgiving with your family?
👱🏼♀️I'm spending it! I just don't want to!
👩🏼🦰That is soooo bitchy, Emma.
👱🏼♀️Because I'm being honest with you?! I'm sorry, I thought you wanted honesty! Oh wait, you don't, cause I'm just "your friend".
👩🏼🦰... Emma...
👱🏼♀️Whatever, Jean. I'm totally in my rights to be pissed right now. This sucks! I can't even share a god damned bed for the week with my fiancé?!
👱🏼♀️Jesus Christ, what is it gonna take for you to just tell your family you're gay?!
Prolly dis!
👱🏼♀️... Who said that and Jean, are you felling okay because you're starting to look...
🤰Look what?
👱🏼♀️I don't... I don't know how to feel about this.
FEEL HAPPY.
And, remember, boys and girls, DRAMA AND THANKSGIVIN ARE INESCAPABLE.
Whether it's your Drunk MAGA Hat Wearing Uncle with his Ex wife flirting with your dad, your Grandma that started eating edibles, or the daughter who finally came out of the closet...
IN THE MOST AWKWARD WAY POSSIBLE.
🤰...I regret nothing! And I'm naming her Rachel!
👱🏼♀️...
You like her fat ass, don't ya?
👱🏼♀️...
Happy Thansgivin! I luv Thanksgivin! Gave my first BJ on Thanksgivin! 😘
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