Victoria was sitting on the cafeteria bench next to her elderly "crush" Ripper when all of the sudden she became a bit younger, slipping down to 35. Wrinkles lifted from her face and her hair brightened a bit but that was when she began to plump up. Her formerly thin arms resembled glazed hams and her thighs swelled and smooshed together as her ass doubled in size and caused the bench to grown underneath it. Chins rippled where her neck used to be as her cheeks puffed up, obscuring her line of sight. She lifted a chubby hand and examined it and then pinched her newly gained beach-ball belly.
"What the hell?" She asked out loud but the old man next to her was sound asleep.
She felt something on her head and reached up to feel a net covering her hair. She bought her hand back down to see that she was wearing baggy gloves.
"Vicky! Come on! Don't dawdle about! We have to prep all the meals for the after school program!" Ms. Smith one of the cafeteria staff called to her in a thick Jamaican accent.
Dr. Cross looked up and then back at her body and outfit with dread.
"I'm a lunch lady!?" She cried in horror.
Meanwhile not too far away, by the English Dept classrooms Nurse Denise was wheeling old man Queefer to her office.
"Don't worry. I'm just going to get your cleaned up in my office and we'll call to have someone from the home come to pick you up." The nurse said with an up-beat tone.
Queefer tried to respond in protest but he was too weak to form full sentences and just rasped a few words. The nurse patted him on his bony shoulder.
"There, there, don't try to talk. Just conserve your energy..." She said as she wheeled him into the nurses station.
She pulled out a stethoscope and check his heart beat.
"Okay heartbeat is fine... let's check your blood pressure..." The middle-aged woman said turning around to get the arm strap.
When she turned around again 30 years had been shed from her and she was a fresh-faced teenager.
"Oh woah! You're sooooo old!!!" The 16-year-old brunette exclaimed looking at the bald wrinkled old man slumped in the wheelchair in loose-fitting clothes.
Queefer squinted at the nurse realizing that she was now his age - his real age and began to hyperventilate.
"Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! I think you're having a total heart attack!" The young Denise cried in a panic.
She looked around.
"Okay! Don't worry - my mom is like an honest-to-god nurse! So I know what i'm doing." She said as she grabs him a glass of water.
The teenager tries to listen to his heart with her stethoscope.
"I'm not hearing a heart beat... I don't know if it's because this thing is broken or maybe old people don't have heart beats? I should probably go get help..." She says to Queefer who enthusiastically nods.
As the teenage nurse runs out of her office, Isabella is peaking her purple-haired head around the corner.
"Oookay! I'm going to assume that's Nurse Denise. Because why not?" The punk girl says to herself and she quickly sneaks into the nurses office.
Queefer looks relieved to see Isabella as she comes in. He wheezes something and gives her a bony thumbs up.
"Yeah dude. I wasn't going to leave you hanging! We're in this together." She says moving to wheel him out of the room.
As she does so she catches a glimpse of herself in the wall mirror and gasps because staring back at her was an imagine Isabella had thought she had left behind her freshman year of high school. The mirror revealed a chubby fresh-faced 15-year old with a side pony-tail and braces. Her face was covered in acne and her tattoos and piercings were gone.
"Aw fuck me!" She said in a younger sounding voice, reaching up to touch her chipmunk cheeks.
She heard the old mans labored laughs behind her.
"Oh you think this is funny?" She asks putting her hands on her hips.
Queefer took a deep breath, gathering his strength.
"...nerd..." He rasped with a wrinkly smile.
"Oh pot calling the kettle black, my friend! You tell anyone about this and i'll kill you." She says wheeling him out of the nurses office.
While over at the PTA meeting happening in the gym:
"I'm not your daughter!" Zoe screams at one of the middle-aged former cheerleaders.
"Of course you're not." The stuck-up Karen replies in a gentle voice.
"Grandma." She adds with a sympathetic smile.
"What?" Zoe asks alarmed as her body ages out of middle-age and into senior-citizen ship as the wrinkles multiply on her face and her hair goes completely grey.
Her chest completely flops down onto her belly and her breasts shrivel up into empty sacks. Her back bends and her veiny wrinkled hands now grasp the walker in front of her. Her hipster glasses become bifocals as a beaded necklace loops from one rim of them to the other. Her neck loosens into a dangling waddle and her teeth disappear. She clutches the walker as her bony legs tremble and her hair becomes pure white. She stops aging at the ripe-old-age of 105. But then her awareness shifts and she remembers that she's supposed to be a teenage high school student again.
"Looks like i've joined you on the saggy titty committee Jordyn." Zoe remarks turning to look over at the aged cheerleader.
But when she glances over to where the ancient former-blonde had been sitting the girl was completely gone. Zoe squints her eyes through her glasses and gasps at a new portrait that was hanging on the wall of Jordyn in her cheerleading outfit circa 1906. The words above the entrance now read "Jordyn Bambert Memorial Gymnasium."
"Holy shit! You killed Jordyn!!" Zoe exclaims in a panic.
"Killed who ma'am?" One of the middle-aged women asked not really listening to her.
"My friend!... well we aren't really 'friends' per-say, in fact I can't really stand her most of the time. But she was young, like me! And now she's just like a dusty old painting from before world war one!" Zoe rattles in a quavering voice.
"That's nice dear. Why don't you take a little nap while we finish up our meeting and then we'll get you back to the home." The young woman told Zoe with a patronizing smile.
"But... you've got to listen to me! You're all supposed to be teenagers not a bunch of frumpy soccer moms! We have to figure out how to stop this before we all becomes just old forgotten names on plaques in the school!" Zoe wheezes but the ladies go on talking to themselves.
"Nobody ever listens to old relics like us anymore! I used to coach cheer-leading at this school for over 40 years. The girls all respected me and the boys all had the hots for me! I was a real looker back in my day... heh." The now 90-year-old Coach Jennifer wheezed from her wheelchair next to Zoe.
"Great. Juuuuust great!" Zoe says face palming her wrinkly head into her gnarled hand.
While outside on the field 10 gray-haired old women came hobbling out in ill-fitting sports bras, baggy athletic shorts and sneakers. The lacrosse team all aged into their 80s as the shuffled onto the astroturf. Teenage coach Matthews blew her whistle and looked out on the senior citizens seeing nothing but a group of athletic teenage girls ready to practice.
"Okay ladies! We're going to do a scrimmage match! Danae, Sammy, Cara, Britney and Lynn you're on the home team and Kimberly, Fiona, Rachel, Destiny and Piper you're the visiting team." She said to the group of wrinkled white haired senior citizens.
"Coach, can I sit this one out? I'm feeling like i'm coming down with something..." Danae groaned patting her puffy exposed wrinkly gut.
The other women all moaned in agreement.
"What is this!? Wine country? Take your belly aching and turn it into motivation to win ya babies!" The coach barked at them in a youthful voice.
"But Coach... we're all like... old all of the sudden!" Sammy tries to explain.
Kimberly blinks and looks around.
"Holy crap! Yeah! I remember I was in detention and then weird aging shit started happening and - woah!? Fiona? Sammy? Is this the team?"
Fiona nodded solemnly.
"Yeah...""Damn... how are we supposed to practice when we all look like we need Life Alert necklaces..." Kimberly remarked looking at the wizened bodies of her formerly teenage teammates.
Coach Matthews blew her whistle loudly again.
"I don't want to hear another word about being old or feeling achy or sick! I'm old enough to be all of your mothers and I feel like I could run up a mountain right now! So stop you're complaining and hit the field!" The teenager ordered pointing to where she wanted them to head.
The old women all sighed and muttered to themselves as they turned to shuffle onto the field. Several of them were using their lacrosse sticks as cane to support them as they walked slowly to their positions.
After what felt like forever all of the 80-something-year-olds were where they were supposed to be for the start of the match. The coach tossed the ball up in the center and... it fell onto the field and rolled a bit as Kimberly and Lynn slowly tried to lift their sticks into the air to catch it.
The women all began to squint and hobble around looking for the ball with their tired eyes. Fiona who had becomes quite hunched over in her 80s was closest to the ground and finally spotted it. She used her frail arms to scoop the ball in her stick and began to plod slowly down toward the net, not quite lifting her sneakers off the ground as she shuffled. Two opposing players began hobbling over to intercept her.
As Fiona got to about a quarter of the way down the field, carrying her stick with both hands, she finally stopped to put a hand on her back to steady herself, letting the ball roll away.
"My sticks so heavy, I feel like i'm going to topple over!" She rasped.
"Where did the ball go?" Sammy yelled horsely.
"Eh? What? Where's Waldo? Isn't that a kids book?" Britney asked lifting a trembling hand to her hairy ear.
"I've got it!" Danae rasped plodding over to the ball, her flabby wrinkled curves jiggling with each step as she took several attempts to scoop it.
Finally she got it and attempted to jog it back toward the opposing teams net but felt a rumble in her old stomach and let out a loud fart before voiding her bowls on the field and dropping her stick in embarrassment.
"Did you just shit yourself!?" The coach screamed from the sidelines.
"Do you see the ball?" Kimberly asked not hearing the coach.
"I've got it!" Rachel cried as her dentures slipped out of her wrinkled mouth and onto the field.
"Give it to me! I'll make the play!" Kimberly directed shuffling over as fast as she could and scooping the false teeth into her stick.
"Wait - I don't think that's the ball!" Fiona warned.
"What?" Kimberly asked already plodding over to Sammy guarding the net.
The wrinkled old woman with the shaved side-burns was clutching her back and trying to play off the fact that she was pretty sure she had pissed herself as a pair of dentures came flying at her.
"Goal!" Kimberly rattled pumping a bony fist in the air.
Cara meanwhile had found the real ball and was hobbling in the other direction toward Kimberly's teams net. The elderly woman used all her might to heft the stick up to her waist but her frail arms couldn't manage in. She shuffled the ball like a broom toward the net, and it would have easily been caught by the goalie if Piper hadn't nodded off at her post. Cara meanwhile had slipped in the process of making her goal and was struggling on the ground.
"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" She croaked.
The coach blew her whistle but the old women continued to plod around the field. She blew it a series of times and tried to yell to get the girls attention but it was literally falling on death ears.
Rachel managed to scoop the ball again and was hobbling as fast as she could toward the opposite end of the field. Maybe a little too fast as her ill-fitting sports bra slipped down dislodging her shriveled old breasts. The sagging tits flopped about as she attempted to jog with the stick finally flying up and slapping her in her face, knocking the old woman onto her saggy ass.
The girls that were still standing were back to using their sticks as canes as they shuffled and gathered in the middle of the field.
"We're getting killed out there!" Kimberly exclaimed to Fiona.
"I think it's a tie score..." Destiny rattled, not realizing that her own shorts had fallen off her bony wrinkled legs leaving her ass and gray-haired crotch exposed.
"No she means that one of us is going to have a heart attack if we keep this up!" Fiona reiterated.
"What the hell are you girls doing out there!? Didn't you hear me blow the whistle!?" Coach Matthews screamed as she came on to the field.
"No coach - I don't hear so good for some reason..." Lynn explained.
"Okay ladies! That's enough fun for one day!" A young man in a suit said jogging on to the field.
A group of orderlies came and lifted Danae and the other girls that were laying across the field into wheel chairs and began to cart them off to the nursing home next door.
"What the hell? Who are you!? Where are you taking my players!?" Couch Matthews asked perturbed.
"Paul Swampscott, assistant director of the Restful Pines Nursing home. I'm here to take the residents back to their rooms to get cleaned up and changed." The man explained.
"Resident!? Nursing home!? These are high school kids!" Coach Matthews bellowed in disbelief.
The man smiled and patted the teenager on the head patronizingly.
"It's nice of you to treat them that way. Okay ladies. Hope you all had fun with... this. I don't know how I was ever talking into letting a group of octogenarians play lacrosse but it's time for your sponge baths!" He said as the orderlies carted the women off.
Coach Matthews just stood their holding her clipboard in disbelief.
Chapter 1 Epilogue:Zoe opened her eyes and found herself in a nursing home common room - she glanced out the window and saw her high school in the distance. She looked over at the wrinkled old woman in a pink house coat with long grey and white hair slumped in a wheelchair next to you.
"Jordyn! You're back! You're old but you're alive!" Zoe exclaimed and then clutched her neck at the sound of her own rattling voice to confirm that she too was old.
"Eh? What did you say? Of course i'm alive. My great-grandbabies keep me young!" Jordyn rattled.
"Oh okay so we're back to not remembering that we're all supposed to be in high school..." Zoe said shaking her head.
"Back in high school? I wish! I'd give that orderly that was fresh with me this morning a real kick in his hiney!" An elderly Kimberly sitting in a chair wearing a well-worn sports jersey rattled.
Behind her a wrinkled, tattooed old woman with faded purple hair clutched the back of a wheel-chair where a bald old man with glasses sat in.
"It's not worth getting caught up thinking about your glory days! Trust me, the past will kill you faster than the future." Isabella rattled shaking her head.
A young man with a shaved head and gangster tattoos came in wearing an orderly uniform.
"Which one of you old bats needs her diaper changed?" He yelled loudly so that they could hear him.
"What a rude young man! What's your name son?" Isabella admonished.
"Ripper!?" Zoe gasped.
Ripper looked at the elderly former geek-girl, surprised.
"Yeah my name is Ripper - how did you know?""Whipper? You're names Whipper? What kind of name is that?" Kimberly asked.
"More like Whipper-Snapper! Am I right!?" Jordyn said causing all the older people besides Zoe to cackle.
"Damn you biddies are the worst." The young man mumbled.
"Now, now Mr. Ripper. You're looking at a room of greatness." A voice called from behind him as Dr. Cross entered holding a file in her hands.
"Dr. Cross?" Zoe asked amazed.
"Miss Bambert here was a gold metal winner in gymnastics at the 1952 Olympics in Helsinki! Mrs. Dawson founded the first women's Lacrosse league in the US in 1958 and was the subject of that film starring Ashley Judd. You've probably used a number of Mr. Keefer's inventions - such as the adjustable headphones in your locker. Ms. Hutchinson here is an incredibly accomplished musician who made a number of albums in the 1960s and whom many call the godmother of punk rock. And of course i'm sure you or your friends read all of Ms. Zoe Hartnell's fantasy books when you were growing up." She said smiling at the orderly.
"Yeah whatever. That's all ancient history." Ripper said.
"Oh I don't know about that." She said affectionately rubbing the young mans back. "I think these old-timers still have some youth left in them. We just have to help them find it again." She said and winked over at Zoe.
THE END... FOR NOW!