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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2021 13:38:41 GMT -6
Reply From- BigTastyCakesJim
My girlfriend lost a tooth a month ago.
It just happened, no idea why.
So, she went to the dentist, ended up getting all her teeth removed and had to use dentures.
The next week, her vision had gotten blurry.
She ended up being prescribed with the thickest pair of glasses you'd ever see.
The next week, her hearing was off.
The doctor prescribed her hearing aids... and even then, I have to constantly repeat myself!
This week, her hair went white as a bed sheet.
I don't know why it's happening, but week by week, my girlfriend is becoming a grandma.
Anyone in a similar situation, please, hit me up.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2021 20:04:30 GMT -6
(If you know and can spot the obscure television reference... I dunno.... I'll write one of these with the topic of your choice. 🤣)
Reply From- Tnetennba
My boss was a rather attractive redhead in her late 20s.
She's very professional, flexible, responsible, a real nice person and probably the best manager I've ever had.
Anyways, about six months ago, my boss started dating this guy.
He'd pick her up for lunch twice a week, seemed pretty nice... but he always gave her some pretty strange gifts.
Presents you'd give your nan, really.
Clunky, gaudy jewelry. Frilly, floral hats. And purses I've sworn I'd purchase for my own nan. You know, those big, colorful purses with a "cute", glittery pattern.
Her wardrobe drastically changed as their relationship progressed. She was dressing more and more mature and acting more and more mature and before the office could really adjust to it all, she looked more and more mature.
90. That's being honest about it. She looks 90. Hunched, wrinkled, hair as white as Moscow in winter.
She's still a good boss... but she's very hard of hearing, can barely see even with glasses, and some very serious arthritis in her hands.
There's talk she's getting a golden handshake soon enough.
Meanwhile, her boyfriend ended up dumping her not too long ago. The Tosser.
Word around the office is he started dating this young girl from payroll.
Not sure if I should warn her or not. She did know damn well who's ex he was!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2021 23:45:12 GMT -6
(This one also has a reference I like doing that. Imma keep doing 'em 😘)
Reply From- MisterBulldops
Does 80 year old whisky age people who drink it 80 years?
I know, I know, it's a stupid question... But, well, my girlfriend legit looks like Judi Dench's Understudy and it's really freaking me out and I'm not sure what to do and I'm really questioning my sexual preferences cause sex with her as Judi Dench literally has never been better!
So uh... anyone else with whisky related age progression problems?
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2021 9:38:57 GMT -6
Reply From- Flem&Earl
My next door neighbor looked just like Selena Gomez.
And then she started getting these weird kits in the mail.
Milf Cheese Monthly.
Before I knew it, she was this curvy milf with like 6 kids and pregnant with baby #7!
6 kids in 6 months!
What it did to her breasts! Wow!
I honestly think it's like an alien invasion or something. Those kids aged pretty fast and they're pretty smart. I think I'm witnessing a new age.
Speaking of age, the neighbor looks 50, at the very least!
Watch the skies, people! Watch the skies! They're coming and they're aging and impregnating our women!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2021 11:47:51 GMT -6
Reply From- OldJames
Am I a bad person and should I go to jail?
I'm 65 and I'm technically dating my 17 year old neighbor.
Okay, right there, obviously, I need the cops to cuff my ass and lock me up for a couple decades, right?
I get that, I do... but I said she's technically 17.
She hasn't looked 17 in a couple of months. If I'm being completely honest here, she looks, dresses, and acts like a 70 year old woman!
Not sure how it happened, I'm not involved with the transformation. All I know is that my teenage neighbor got old overnight, started chatting with me more and more and, before I knew it, we were dating.
If I'm being technical again, we live together now. She's stayed at my place for an entire month, all her clothes are here, her meds, her knickknacks and what not.
It's almost like I have a wife... who I don't think, technically, I can legally marry for another 5 months!
Anyone else with this problem? Again, should I go to jail?!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2021 12:04:19 GMT -6
Reply From- ClemFandango
Hi, can you read this alright? This is Clem Fandango and I've got an interesting story.
I work in the voiceover industry, had this coworker, "the talent", that was a bit of a bitch, really.
She was on this TV Show in the early 2010s. She had a big head, and this unrealistic sense of entitlement, really.
Difficult to work with, a diva, arrogant, pretentious, and always acting like everyone around her were incompetent sods.
Naturally, I lived to mess with her.
Simple things to toy with her, all good fun, really.
Anyways, I dunno, I guess I wasn't the only one who enjoyed messing with her?
It started off small, her hair was looking pretty grey. Then I started noticing a wrinkle heat and a wrinkle there. I swear, she shrunk like 60 centimeters at one point!
At the end of it all, she was this shriveled old hag. Still full of herself, but, her voicing definitely matured.
Mean Grandmas, Evil Witches, stuff like that.
It's hilarious!
Whoever did that to her, I think you're Real British Hero. Wickedly Brilliant, really! 👍🏽
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2021 12:32:58 GMT -6
Reply From- EkkeEkkeEkkeEkkePtangZooBoing
My roommate likes to rub feet.
Like, like a lot.
He pretty much only brings girls to the apartment to rub their feet in our shared space.
It's pretty weird.
He dates a girl for like a month, massages their foot heel to toe, and dumps 'em once he's had his fun.
This one girl though, let's call her Kenny, Kenny was the girl that just changed it all for me.
The first week, she was 25, I was pretty sure about that. He rubbed her down like he normally did, nothing, relatively speaking, unusual.
The second week, she was looking pretty tired, and if I didn't know any better, I would've said she was in her mid to late 30s the massages at this point got waaay to sexual to what I'm use to. Her moaning was just so... I ended up having to go out for coffee.
The third week, she was definitely in her 40s. She liked more like a PTA Mom then she did my roommate's girlfriend. Big and round, with feet to boot. From what I saw, they looked pretty swollen.
And the fourth week, yeah, they were more than swollen and she was clearly in her 50s.
He dumped her after that. This big, mature woman. Since then, I've been looking for a new apartment. This experience taught me I'm too old for a roommate. Not as old as Kenny, but still!
Update:
I have no idea if my roommate is responsible for what happened to Kenny. I do know that I have a new apartment... right next door to Kenny.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2021 13:55:10 GMT -6
Reply From- Van-Tal
It all started when my grandmother forced me to go with her to bingo!
Before I knew it, I was hooked! I went every Thursday with my grandmother, it was just so much fun!
I started referring to my grandma as Dorris, that's when I started notices strange things.
My weight skyrocketed, my skin began to lose it's youthful appearance. Within 3 months, I was looking more like my grandma's sister than my grandma's granddaughter!
I'm dating one of her friends now, Wallace. We're thinking of getting married pretty soon. At the bingo hall!
Anyone else with this problem that found a solution, let me know before I become Mrs Wallace Burton!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2021 16:16:02 GMT -6
Reply From - FishFingers&Custard
My roommate bought a butt plug 4 months ago.
How do I know that extremely embarrassing fact?
Bitch got it mailed under my name, I thought it was my package, I opened it, and she cursed me out for it!
I was initially pretty pissed off. Till I noticed her hair was looking strangely grey, her face was showing of a wrinkle or two, and age spots just kept coming and coming.
I noticed she looked older and older whenever she had some "alone time" in her room.
Pretty sure it was the butt plug.
At one point, I had to convince her to get glasses when she couldn't read the instructions on her TV dinner.
During that same dinner, a bunch of teeth plopped into her mashed potatoes. She got dentures and the granniest pair of glasses I've ever seen.
Eventually, her hearing went, she had to start using a walker, and she always spells like ointments and piss.
Recently got her a shower nurse.
Pretty sure she still uses that butt plug! 😹
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2021 20:10:27 GMT -6
Reply From- Shablagooo
It's so unfair!
I started getting zits again in my 20s!
And the worst part? Every single zit I pop either adds a wrinkle to my face or grey in my hair!
I'm starting to look like my grandma!
Help me!
Anyone else with AP Zits and know of a good remedy, let me know before my parents put me in a nursing home!!!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2021 10:12:37 GMT -6
Reply From- NotMyFault89
Look, I happen to be the grandson of a Witch from Southeast Asia.
My grandma's made this pretty clear: countless generations of magic dating back to the early beginnings of Yin Dynasty China.
That's not my fault. I didn't choose to be born into a family a witches.
Anyways, my best friend, who we'll call Tracy, was dumb enough to steal from my grandma's antique shop.
Why would anyone steal from an dusty old antique shop owned and operated by a tiny old lady with a tobacco addiction?
IF THAT ISN'T A RED FLAG, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.
So my friend gets cursed, and my grandma tells me.
"Please, don't curse her." I begged.
"She's just an idiot." I defended.
"Look, she's my friend, I'll pay for the earrings she stole! Please, Please don't do this!"
But it was talking to deaf ears.
Speaking of deaf, Tina's hearing slowly got weaker and weaker. As well as her vision.
During lunch one day, she was tired and groggy, she lost several teeth and had to get a set of falsie.
Her hair got so white and curly, her back hunched, and her wrinkles? I think she has more than my grandma!
Anyways, Tina now lives at a nursing home.
Do I feel? No! I've often warned Tina never to fuck with my Grandma. She is clearly a terrifying, sketchy red flag of a woman!
The lesson here is don't steal from antique shops, okay?! Don't!
You think curses are dumb? Then why the fuck are you at an antique shops. Curses are like synonymous with them!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2021 14:37:47 GMT -6
Reply From- WowsTim99
My older brother, who we'll call OB, was a douchebag jock with a pretty bitchy cheerleader, who we'll call G, for a girlfriend.
OB kicked my ass a lot at home, and always got away with it. My parents aren't exactly... well... attentive. In fact, they were rarely around the house.
And G spread rumors around school that I masturbated to my little pony with a Hello Kitty sock on my dick. I'm annoyed she'd make a lie like that, but I'm a little disturbed a 110 pound, 5ft5, blonde cheerleader born and raised in a very strong Christian household would make that kinda lie.
Anyways, they did something pretty stupid. Obviously.
They tried to steal from an antique shop ran by a very old, mystique old lady.
I mean, take away the physical and emotional bullying they've inflicted on me. You're a god damned moron to steal from an old lady, with an Eastern European accent, who owns a god damned antique shop. What's a red flag if not that?!
Anyways, it started off small, G started taking OB to school for some reason. OB had a car, OB usually took G to school. But just out of nowhere, G was coming over, in her mom's minivan, picking up OB at 7 am sharp.
Eventually, my parents just gave me OB's car. They acted like it made no sense. Like he'd didn't have the need to drive. Like he couldn't.
Before I knew it, OB was acting... different. Before school, he'd always be in the kitchen, eating either cereal or a pop tart, watching cartoons. Cartoons! He hated cartoons!
And G was different too. 1) She acted less like a student and more like a teacher's aid. Grading papers, helping with assignments. I'm pretty sure she just up and left the cheer leading squad. 2) She more and more started treating OB like... well... like a child. She made him lunches, she made him breakfast, she made him dinner. I think it was around the tenth time she made OB sliced hot dogs in a Kraft Mac and Cheese that I realized she lived in our house.
And OB was getting so small... and... and so girly.
He looked like a 7 year old, at least. And G? She could pass for my mom's sister.
It was when OB got demoted to elementary school that everything made sense. They were cursed.
G became my Dad's sister. A single mother taking care of my now little cousin, OB. The girliest little girl I've ever met.
G's a lot nicer as my aunt though. And OB is a sweetheart who loves ice skating and my little pony.
I dunno... thank you, antique shop owner, I'm pretty sure you're responsible and I really appreciate it. My life is waaaay better now!
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bob
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Post by bob on Feb 17, 2021 17:21:21 GMT -6
Reply From- WowsTim99 My older brother, who we'll call OB, was a douchebag jock with a pretty bitchy cheerleader, who we'll call G, for a girlfriend. OB kicked my ass a lot at home, and always got away with it. My parents aren't exactly... well... attentive. In fact, they were rarely around the house. And G spread rumors around school that I masturbated to my little pony with a Hello Kitty sock on my dick. I'm annoyed she'd make a lie like that, but I'm a little disturbed a 110 pound, 5ft5, blonde cheerleader born and raised in a very strong Christian household would make that kinda lie. Anyways, they did something pretty stupid. Obviously. They tried to steal from an antique shop ran by a very old, mystique old lady. I mean, take away the physical and emotional bullying they've inflicted on me. You're a god damned moron to steal from an old lady, with an Eastern European accent, who owns a god damned antique shop. What's a red flag if not that?! Anyways, it started off small, G started taking OB to school for some reason. OB had a car, OB usually took G to school. But just out of nowhere, G was coming over, in her mom's minivan, picking up OB at 7 am sharp. Eventually, my parents just gave me OB's car. They acted like it made no sense. Like he'd didn't have the need to drive. Like he couldn't. Before I knew it, OB was acting... different. Before school, he'd always be in the kitchen, eating either cereal or a pop tart, watching cartoons. Cartoons! He hated cartoons! And G was different too. 1) She acted less like a student and more like a teacher's aid. Grading papers, helping with assignments. I'm pretty sure she just up and left the cheer leading squad. 2) She more and more started treating OB like... well... like a child. She made him lunches, she made him breakfast, she made him dinner. I think it was around the tenth time she made OB sliced hot dogs in a Kraft Mac and Cheese that I realized she lived in our house. And OB was getting so small... and... and so girly. He looked like a 7 year old, at least. And G? She could pass for my mom's sister. It was when OB got demoted to elementary school that everything made sense. They were cursed. G became my Dad's sister. A single mother taking care of my now little cousin, OB. The girliest little girl I've ever met. G's a lot nicer as my aunt though. And OB is a sweetheart who loves ice skating and my little pony. I dunno... thank you, antique shop owner, I'm pretty sure you're responsible and I really appreciate it. My life is waaaay better now! Very nice variation on A Curious Curse!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2021 18:57:32 GMT -6
Again, I'm not super into the age regression, LOVE TG, it's my top 5 specific TF, but that story was just amazing.
Also, I feel like I put more focus on the older brother becoming a little girl then I thought I would, tbh. 😂
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2021 22:59:56 GMT -6
Reply from- SimSamSung91
I was on the bus the other day, and this young woman was "discreetly" giving a man a hand job in the back.
It was a crowded bus... and all of this was literally right in front of me.
Didn't want to make a scene. So, I kept quiet about it.
Figured freaking out would waste time I didn't have to waste.
So I'm sitting there, just trying to not look at her hand patting his crouch up and down and up and down. Both grinning wickedly at their naughty little public display of affection.
I really tried not looking... but then I started noticing white hairs on that young woman. Her hair just got whiter and whiter and her skin kelted get more and more wrinkled with every passing second.
I couldn't stop watching, this grandma wouldn't stop what she started. Shaky and clearly confused. The guy's grin never faltered. When he came, she has to have been 90, at the very least.
Anyways, I think demons take the bus and they're draining women and getting hand jobs!!!
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