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Post by fan2000 on Nov 21, 2017 17:33:05 GMT -6
Current Ranking: 1st Place: Claire Bennet (Heroes) (fan2000) 2nd Place: Penny Hofstadter (The Big Bang Theory) (rayc5678)
Current List: Kitty Pryde/Shadowcat (18) Daisy Johnson (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) (17) Valkyrie (Thor: Ragnarok) (17) Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (16) Mia/Anita Hawkins (Humans) (3) Dr. Elliot Reid (Scrubs) (3) Harleen Quinnzel/Harley Quinn (0) Jean Grey (0) Olivia Pope (Scandal) (0) The Doctor (Female Incarnation) (0) Kate O'Brian (The Drew Carey Show) (0)
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Post by fan2000 on Nov 20, 2017 22:16:39 GMT -6
Overall Mark it's some nice work.
Personally I enjoyed reading Lindsey's description as one got a full picture of her as an old woman and a middle-aged cougar. While I liked reading Kayla and Karey's aging during their four-way encounter, but those descriptions only went so far and didn't give a clear picture of what they looked like once old.
The cause of the age progression as being mature liquor is a nice decision and the reversing of the effects was interesting as well, so kudos on that.
I don't know what else to write given this is your first venture, I don't want to "over critique" story structure or anything because a lot of times the way that gets fixed is just continue to write, write, and write to just get better.
Anyway, I hope this feedback gives you some help.
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Post by fan2000 on Nov 20, 2017 16:51:43 GMT -6
Current Ranking:
1st Place: Claire Bennet (Heroes) (fan2000) 2nd Place: Penny Hofstadter (The Big Bang Theory) (rayc5678)
Current List: Kitty Pryde/Shadowcat (18) Daisy Johnson (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) (16) Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (15) Valkyrie (Thor: Ragnarok) (15) Mia/Anita Hawkins (Humans) (3) Dr. Elliot Reid (Scrubs) (3) Harleen Quinnzel/Harley Quinn (0) Jean Grey (0) Olivia Pope (Scandal) (0) The Doctor (Female Incarnation) (0) Kate O'Brian (The Drew Carey Show) (0)
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Post by fan2000 on Nov 19, 2017 15:07:19 GMT -6
Current Ranking: 1st Place: Claire Bennet (Heroes) (fan2000) 2nd Place: Penny Hofstadter (The Big Bang Theory) (rayc5678)
Current List: Kitty Pryde/Shadowcat (16) Daisy Johnson (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) (15) Valkyrie (Thor: Ragnarok) (13) Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (13) Mia/Anita Hawkins (Humans) (3) Dr. Elliot Reid (Scrubs) (3) Harleen Quinnzel/Harley Quinn (0) Jean Grey (0) Olivia Pope (Scandal) (0) The Doctor (Female Incarnation) (0) Kate O'Brian (The Drew Carey Show) (0)
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Post by fan2000 on Nov 18, 2017 19:47:54 GMT -6
I'm with Chrono, I'm partial to high school/college campus and well as cursed houses as well.
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Post by fan2000 on Nov 18, 2017 19:07:58 GMT -6
My two favorite animated APs are #1 Josie and #2 Gargoyles, which have already been mentioned. Another one of my favorites is my personal choice as the best Codename Kids Next Door AP scene, which actually is both AP and AR. Operation G.R.O.W.-U.P.
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Post by fan2000 on Nov 18, 2017 17:56:19 GMT -6
Current Ranking: 1st Place: Claire Bennet (Heroes) (fan2000) 2nd Place: Penny Hofstadter (The Big Bang Theory) (rayc5678)
Current List: Kitty Pryde/Shadowcat (14) Valkyrie (Thor: Ragnarok) (13) Daisy Johnson (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) (13) Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (12) Mia/Anita Hawkins (Humans) (3) Dr. Elliot Reid (Scrubs) (3) Harleen Quinnzel/Harley Quinn (0) Jean Grey (0) Olivia Pope (Scandal) (0) The Doctor (Female Incarnation) (0) Kate O'Brian (The Drew Carey Show) (0)
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Post by fan2000 on Nov 17, 2017 21:43:47 GMT -6
Current Ranking: 1st Place: Claire Bennet (Heroes) (fan2000) 2nd Place: Penny Hofstadter (The Big Bang Theory) (rayc5678)
Current List: Kitty Pryde/Shadowcat (14) Valkyrie (Thor: Ragnarok) (13) Daisy Johnson (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) (12) Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (11) Mia/Anita Hawkins (Humans) (3) Dr. Elliot Reid (Scrubs) (3) Harleen Quinnzel/Harley Quinn (0) Jean Grey (0) Olivia Pope (Scandal) (0) The Doctor (Female Incarnation) (0) Kate O'Brian (The Drew Carey Show) (0)
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Post by fan2000 on Nov 16, 2017 16:25:27 GMT -6
Current Ranking: 1st Place: Claire Bennet (Heroes) (fan2000) 2nd Place: Penny Hofstadter (The Big Bang Theory) (rayc5678)
Current List: Valkyrie (Thor: Ragnarok) (12) Kitty Pryde/Shadowcat (12) Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (8) Daisy Johnson (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) (8) Mia/Anita Hawkins (Humans) (3) Dr. Elliot Reid (Scrubs) (3) Harleen Quinnzel/Harley Quinn (0) Jean Grey (0) Olivia Pope (Scandal) (0) The Doctor (Female Incarnation) (0) Kate O'Brian (The Drew Carey Show) (0)
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Post by fan2000 on Nov 15, 2017 6:38:03 GMT -6
Current Ranking: 1st Place: Claire Bennet (Heroes) (fan2000)
Current List: Penny Hofstadter (The Big Bang Theory) (16) Kitty Pryde/Shadowcat (11) Daisy Johnson (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) (8) Valkyrie (Thor: Ragnarok) (7) Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (7) Mia/Anita Hawkins (Humans) (3) Dr. Elliot Reid (Scrubs) (3) Harleen Quinnzel/Harley Quinn (0) Jean Grey (0) Olivia Pope (Scandal) (0) The Doctor (Female Incarnation) (0) Kate O'Brian (The Drew Carey Show) (0)
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Post by fan2000 on Nov 14, 2017 14:36:35 GMT -6
Current Ranking: 1st Place: Claire Bennet (Heroes) (fan2000)
Current List: Penny Hofstadter (The Big Bang Theory) (16) Kitty Pryde/Shadowcat (10) Daisy Johnson (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) (7) Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (6) Valkyrie (Thor: Ragnarok) (6) Mia/Anita Hawkins (Humans) (3) Dr. Elliot Reid (Scrubs) (3) Harleen Quinnzel/Harley Quinn (0) Jean Grey (0) Olivia Pope (Scandal) (0) The Doctor (Female Incarnation) (0) Kate O'Brian (The Drew Carey Show) (0)
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Post by fan2000 on Nov 13, 2017 14:01:27 GMT -6
Current Ranking: 1st Place: Claire Bennet (Heroes) (fan2000)
Current List: Penny Hofstadter (The Big Bang Theory) (14) Kitty Pryde/Shadowcat (9) Daisy Johnson (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) (6) Valkyrie (Thor: Ragnarok) (4) Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (4) Mia/Anita Hawkins (Humans) (3) Dr. Elliot Reid (Scrubs) (3) Harleen Quinnzel/Harley Quinn (0) Jean Grey (0) Olivia Pope (Scandal) (0) The Doctor (Female Incarnation) (0) Kate O'Brian (The Drew Carey Show) (0)
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Post by fan2000 on Nov 12, 2017 15:34:56 GMT -6
Thanks Chrono, glad you enjoyed it. Honestly the first season is the best and that's the Claire that I always remember even though progressed her character for the course of the 4 year run, they could never match the quality of that initial season.
Current Ranking:
1st Place: Claire Bennet (Heroes) (fan2000)
Current List: Penny Hofstadter (The Big Bang Theory) (12) Kitty Pryde/Shadowcat (8) Daisy Johnson (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) (6) Valkyrie (Thor: Ragnarok) (4) Mia/Anita Hawkins (Humans) (3) Dr. Elliot Reid (Scrubs) (3) Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (3) Harleen Quinnzel/Harley Quinn (0) Jean Grey (0) Olivia Pope (Scandal) (0) The Doctor (Female Incarnation) (0) Kate O'Brian (The Drew Carey Show) (0)
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Post by fan2000 on Nov 11, 2017 17:18:27 GMT -6
Current Ranking: 1st Place: Claire Bennet (Heroes) (fan2000)
Current List: Penny Hofstadter (The Big Bang Theory) (12) Kitty Pryde/Shadowcat (8) Daisy Johnson (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) (5) Mia/Anita Hawkins (Humans) (3) Dr. Elliot Reid (Scrubs) (3) Valkyrie (Thor: Ragnarok) (3) Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (2) Harleen Quinnzel/Harley Quinn (0) Jean Grey (0) Olivia Pope (Scandal) (0) The Doctor (Female Incarnation) (0) Kate O'Brian (The Drew Carey Show) (0)
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Post by fan2000 on Nov 10, 2017 17:57:17 GMT -6
Current Ranking: 1st Place: Claire Bennet (Heroes) (fan2000)
Current List: Penny Hofstadter (The Big Bang Theory) (12) Kitty Pryde/Shadowcat (8) Mia/Anita Hawkins (Humans) (3) Daisy Johnson (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) (4) Dr. Elliot Reid (Scrubs) (3) Valkyrie (Thor: Ragnarok) (3) Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (1) Harleen Quinnzel/Harley Quinn (0) Jean Grey (0) Olivia Pope (Scandal) (0) The Doctor (Female Incarnation) (0) Kate O'Brian (The Drew Carey Show) (0)
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