"Thank you! Thank you! You're all so lovely!" Mary Jane gracefully, but slowly, sits on a lime green sofa, slender, stockinged legs crossed, left red heel twirled counter clockwise, with a botox smile centered with lights showcasing her wrinkled skin and glossy, dyed red hair.
"Are we gonna have a great show tonight?!" MJ raises a lightly plucked eyebrow.
"Thats what I wanna hear!" Mary Jane laughs with a thumbs up, puckering her artificially plump, red lips to blow a kiss into the audience.
"That's exactly what I wanna hear!"
(Band Music 🎷)
"Let's see... our first guest for the night is none other than Head Mistress Emma Frost of The Apocalypse Academy for Gifted Youngsters!"
"Followed by Zatanna with an amazing new magic trick!)
"And, finally, a special performance from the one, the only... Dazzler!"
(Cheers up to 11!)
"We saved the best for the last, didn't we?!" MJ winks like a flirty aunt!
"As always, today's show is brought to you by Stark Soda. Tastes the Future!"
(Futuristic Background Music 🤖)
"And we'll be chatting with Headmistress Emma Frost right after these important commercial messages!"
Commercial #1: McCoy Burgers. Smart Prices, Big Portions!
Commercial #2: Jen Walters, Injury Attorney. She'll Smash for You!
Commercial #3: The Stark Auto 2020 Edition. Featuring a Middle Aged Ariana Grande, with her kids, behind the sensible wheel!
Commercial #4: Howard The Duck's Pizza Shack. Got an A? Show us and get free slice of pizza, five tokens, and rubber pencil!
Commercial #5: Preview of Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus on their new show, Moms At Work! The story of two single moms, six kids, and a bitchy, elderly landlord played by Jennifer Lopez! Weekends at 9 on The Wasp Network!
She's a recently divorced paralegal with three rowdy teenage boys:
And she's a recently widowed mother of three bombshell blondes trying to get her newly opened bakery profitable:
Can these two get through this wild and crazy new chapter of their lives in one piece?!
Especially, while sharing a house owned by this frugal, stern old crone?!
"Rent is due on the 5th and always the 5th!" Jennifer Lopez's character, Mrs Estrada, wags a finger at Miley and Selena, standing outside of their rundown two story colonial as the front door falls flat onto the ground.
Find out Sunday's at 9, this Spring, on The Wasp Network!
"With me today is Head Mistress Emma Frost of the Apocalypse Academy for Gifted Youngsters!"
Pan to a middle aged blonde, dressed in an elegant white fur coat, short cut hair in curls, face heavily in expensive makeup, wearing a sparkling blue dress highlighting a rather prominent muffin told, with long slender arms white gloved to the elbow with a a long, vintage, black cigarette holder between her long and slender left middle and index finger.
"Thanks for being on the Show!"
"Thanks for having me." Emma speaks in a raspy voice and condescendingly arrogant tone.
"Now, if I understand correctly, This week is your school's 40th Anniversary?"
"Indeed it is." Emma nods.
"As well the 10th Anniversary of you being Headmistress after the death of En Sabah Nur to Onslaught?"
"Unfortunately." Emma responds with a shimmer of melancholy in her nicotine enhanced voice.
"Am I also correct that your are one of the three remaining members of The Apocalypse First Class still alive?"
Emma frowns. Her age being a touchy subject, MJ's structures on that sentence greatly offended her!
"Uh... yes." Emma struggles to give an answer.
"So, are the rumors true? You'll be introducing a new team of Horsemen at the Anniversary Banquet?!" MJ asks with beaming green eyes.
"...Perhaps." Emma shrugs her shoulders.
"Oh, come now, Emmy! You can tell me!"
"A Secret isn't a secret if you give it away." Emma smirks.
MJ scoots her plump butt towards Emma.
"You could always whisper it to me!" MJ seductively winks.
"Come on, Emmy!" MJ pouts. "I heard you've got Onslaught's female clone on the team. What's her name? Charlotte?"
"She likes to go by Charlie."
"I call her Cutie!" MJ giggles.
"So, you won't give me even a little detail?" MJ stresses her desire.
Emma shakes her head.
"Oh poo, you're no fun!" MJ sways her jiggling arm in distress.
The interaction lasts another three minutes. Emma talks about a new diet she's been on, bragging about the loss of ten pounds. MJ confesses she'd be on a diet too, if McCoy Burger didn't make such delicious sandwiches! They then briefly discuss mutants in pop culture and how Dazzler was Emma's first student back in the day.
"Well, that's all we have for Emma. Thanks a bunch for being here!" MJ gives the blonde mutant matriarch a big show hug.
"After commercial break, Zatanna will dazzle us with a few magic tricks!"
"And after that, Dazzler!"
"See ya real soon, you lovely people!" MJ blows another kiss with yet another seductive wink.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, The Mary Jane Watson Show is proud to present...
"Turn down that racket!" An Elderly Woman complians between puffs of her cigarette.
"Oh, you think that's funny, huh?" Zatanna raises a thinning, grey brow. "Well, you know what isn't funny? Tinnitus!"
"Kids these days!" Zatanna huffs. "I suppose you want to see some sorta fancy magic trick, huh?"
Zatann blows circles spiraling clockwise towards the audience.
No one looks amused.
"There, Magic circles! Tada!"
"Lousy kids! Whaddya want from me, huh?"
(Chanting Bunny Wave)
"Okay! Okay!" Zatanna butts out her cigarette in an ash tray, hoists her body upwards, groining lightly with a look of pain on her wrinkled face.
"Lousy kids, always wanting something extravagant!" Zatanna mumbles. "In my day, a dove outta a hat was all we need!"
(Chanting Bunny Wave)
"Hippity Hoppity, let a wave of bunnies floppity!" Zatanna struggles to wiggle her delicate hips left you right.
Behind her, white fuzz begins to form, slowly becoming rabbits, hundreds of rabbits forming a wave that falls onto the studio audience, crashing like water, many jumping upwards and multiple by twos and threes. The studio is infested with bunnies!
Slowly, they swarm back on stage, circling around Zatanna, one by one, fading away into colorful confetti.
"Lousy Kids!" Zatanna shuffles off stage, lighting a cigarette barely an inch away from the edge of the camera. That trick always hurts her lower back!
kappa: Hope everyone who turned 21 yesterday enjoyed there first legal drink 😘
Mar 1, 2020 23:28:55 GMT -6
anonguy: I hope this pandemic ends soon and we can go on with our lives...I'm sick of being cooped up in my house. I want to see a movie!
Mar 22, 2020 17:27:18 GMT -6
kappa: Anonguy, to personally deal with this situation, I think about an old Chinese proverb about an Old Man Who Lost His Horse. PRETENTIOUS, I KNOW 😂 But, still, it's a valid lesson. Opportunity and Tragedy are two sides of the same coin. 😘
Mar 22, 2020 20:08:23 GMT -6
kappa: For example, you could watch Onward on Prime Video. Also, I believe other films are taking that leap.
Mar 22, 2020 20:09:07 GMT -6
kappa: not the same as the movie experience, I admit, but heck, I might just crumble a tray of brownies into a batch of popcorn! 🥰
Mar 22, 2020 20:09:57 GMT -6
anonguy: I don't have Prime. And I want to go out and stretch my legs.
Mar 22, 2020 20:12:26 GMT -6
kappa: Apparently, you could watch it on YouTube for $19.
Mar 22, 2020 20:15:23 GMT -6
kappa: And Google Play
Mar 22, 2020 20:16:09 GMT -6
kappa: Fun fact about The Life of Brian. The Love Interest in real life becomes mayor of a town in like Wales or something 😹
Apr 1, 2020 15:52:13 GMT -6
kappa: I swear to God, if The Brits give me one more positive surprise this week! Like something involving Helen Mirren... actually, yeah, she's definitely the Brit I'd love to see doing something special. ♥️
Apr 2, 2020 9:08:56 GMT -6
tej2506: Would there be any interest in a 4th session of the AP support group? I went AWOL after Session 1, and I miss doing group RPs. I really think it could bring us all together during these strange times, and it's the longest thread on the forum for a reason.
Apr 3, 2020 2:30:20 GMT -6
tej2506: Nevermind, forgot that Kappa's nerd talk is 45 pages long.
Apr 3, 2020 2:31:06 GMT -6
kappa: And counting 😘🤣
Apr 3, 2020 14:44:23 GMT -6
spyguy: I’m always down to revisit that game some time!
Apr 3, 2020 17:49:07 GMT -6
tej2506: Sounds good! I'll start it up in a few days.
Apr 4, 2020 11:38:23 GMT -6
tej2506: The Support Group is up now!
Apr 4, 2020 15:42:51 GMT -6
kappa: 2021 Better have a Golden Girls Remake. Just saying. It's needed 🤣
May 31, 2020 22:05:18 GMT -6
chronoeclipse: I know this site is largely an escape from the real world and it's goings-on. But with consideration for Blackout Tuesday, that's occurring across social media and the internet today i've chosen to pause my story and refrain from posting for the day.
Jun 2, 2020 9:11:32 GMT -6
chronoeclipse: A Day in a Lifetime will pick back up tomorrow. Be safe, be thoughtful, do what you can to support the people in your community that need it.
Jun 2, 2020 9:15:01 GMT -6